The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1767911046.2618692: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* WESTERN VULTURE The western vulture has a white head and a white crest. They can most often be identified by their striped breasts and shoulders. Western vultures can occasionally be found eating other birds in western cliffsides, or now and then in pine stands. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a singing that starts abrasive and ends low, which sounds like "ai-er ai-erAH". - CHATTERING VULTURE A relative of the western vulture, the chattering vulture is slightly larger than it, possessing a red shoulder and black beak. Their oversized beaks are notable. Chattering vultures can often be spotted eating small birds in northern canopies, or now and then in undergrowth. These birds live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into backyards or golf courses, in flocks. CALL: a chattering that starts hoarse and ends high, which might be transcribed "kok-ai kok-aiAH". - RED-CRESTED SWIFT The red-crested swift is a swift with a black neck and a yellow head. Typically, one can be told apart by its striped crest and its' notable oversized neck. Red-crested swifts can never be found around southern conifers or at times in southern mountain tops. Individually or in small groups, they make their homes in flat platforms composed of dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a melodic singing which might be transcribed "pip-kyik". SINGING VULTURE We know nothing about the singing vulture. - WESTERN SWALLOW The western swallow is conspicuous for its white neck and its yellow throat. Western swallows feed on seeds and some grubs in western estuaries. Individually or in small groups, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a hoarse "chip-chip-wee chip-chip-weeWEE". BROWN-BEAKED VULTURE The brown-beaked vulture resembles the singing vulture but is slightly larger than it, and has a brown neck and red shoulder. One can be distinguished by its speckled beak and its' striped wing. Brown-beaked vultures feed on rabbits, mice, and gophers in northern bushes. With many of their kind, they make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a tweeting that starts low and ends low, which might be transcribed "ou-chip ai ou-chip". MOUNTAIN SWIFT The mountain swift is slightly smaller than the red-crested swift and is notable for its brown beak and blue neck. Their colors are completely different. Mountain swifts may often be found in northern bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a "kok-ai". - BLACK-SHOULDERED GUINEAFOWL The black-shouldered guineafowl has a white neck and a gray head. Black-shouldered guineafowls may often be observed in northern shrubbery searching for seeds and grubs. These birds live in flocks. CALL: a "PERper-ou PERper-ouAI". COASTAL COOT The coastal coot is conspicuous for its gray wing and its white crest. Coastal coots often reside in western estuaries or beaches where they usually subsist on crabs, mussels, and a variety of saltwater fish. These solitary birds make their homes in natural cavities in trees filled out with dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a high "ai-per-per er ai-per-per". COASTAL SWIFT The coastal swift is sometimes confused with the mountain swift and is much smaller than it. The coastal swift has a brown crest and red shoulder. Their colors are completely different. Coastal swifts can often be spotted around western estuaries or at times in western beaches. These birds have lost the capacity for flight, in solitude. CALL: a type of "klip-kraa-rik". WESTERN VULTURE We know nothing about the western vulture. BLUE-NECKED SWALLOW We know nothing about the blue-necked swallow. - NORTHERN GREBE The northern grebe is a grebe with a black head and a black beak. Northern grebes may often be observed in northern rivers searching for trout and other freshwater fish. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a "RIKah-pip-wee". GOLDEN-BEAKED WOODPECKER A bird with a golden beak and a yellow wing is the golden-beaked woodpecker. Golden-beaked woodpeckers feed on nuts, beetles, and fruit in northern canopies. A bird living in large congregations, they fly zigzaggingly. CALL: a high "KLIPpip-chip-wee wee". UNCOMMON COOT The uncommon coot is notable for its yellow shoulder and its golden breast. Its' conspicuous striped tail typically lets you identify one. Uncommon coots sometimes inhabit northern rivers or swamps where they generally subsist on catfish, bass, sunfish, and minnows. These solitary birds make their homes in flat platforms composed of branches. CALL: a tuneful squawking which sounds like "KAai-oo-er KAai-oo-erAI". GOLDEN-TAILED SWALLOW The golden-tailed swallow is sometimes mistaken for the blue-necked swallow and is slightly larger than it. The golden-tailed swallow has a yellow crest and crimson breast. Most often, one can be distinguished by its narrow throat and its' conspicuous mottled beak. Golden-tailed swallows can sometimes be seen eating seeds and some grubs in western estuaries, or now and then in bushes. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a low "TEEwee-tee pip TEEwee-tee". CRIMSON-THROATED VULTURE With a golden tail, the crimson-throated vulture is slightly larger than the western vulture. Generally, one can be identified by its speckled throat and its' notable tufted neck. Crimson-throated vultures feed on flocks of small birds in western pine stands. A bird living in flocks, they only survive far from human populations. CALL: a tuneful chattering which sounds like "KOKkok-oo". SINGING SWIFT With a gray head, the singing swift is slightly larger than the coastal swift. Generally, one can be identified by its striped neck and its' remarkable mottled breast. Singing swifts may often be found in southern cliffsides searching for seeds and spiders. In solitude, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a sort of "KAchip-kyik kyik". UNCOMMON COOT A relative of the coastal coot, the uncommon coot is as large as it, with a red head and blue wing. Their colors are completely different. You are most likely to discover uncommon coots in northern undergrowth. There, they can sometimes be spotted eating freshwater fish. These solitary birds make their homes in flat platforms composed of branches. CALL: a kind of "KYIKai-chip KYIKai-chipER". NORTHERN GUINEAFOWL The northern guineafowl is much smaller than the black-shouldered guineafowl and is notable for its brown throat and yellow shoulder. Both birds have a white tail and a golden breast. Northern guineafowls may sometimes be observed in northern lakes or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, berries, and snails. A bird living in flocks, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "coo-ou-ah oo coo-ou-ah". - EASTERN FLYCATCHER One kind of flycatcher is the eastern flycatcher, a bird notable for its red breast and black crest. Their striped crests are remarkable. Eastern flycatchers can often be observed around eastern undergrowth or at times in eastern swamps. These flocking birds collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a sort of whistling - first hoarse then low "pip-chi KYIKer-chip pip-chi KYIKer-chipOO". RIVER FLYCATCHER A flycatcher with a red wing is the river flycatcher. River flycatchers may often be found in northern ponds searching for insects. These birds are found around the homes of the common coot, with a few of their kind. CALL: a tweeting that starts low and ends tuneful, which might be transcribed "ka-tee ka-kyik-chip pip ka-tee ka-kyik-chip". VIOLET-BREASTED GULL One kind of gull is the violet-breasted gull, a bird conspicuous for its brown crest and violet wing. Violet-breasted gulls may often be spotted in western cliffsides or in pine stands. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. In flocks, they only survive far from human populations. CALL: a "kok-tee ah-kraa-per". SQUAWKING SWIFT One kind of swift is the squawking swift, a bird notable for its brown wing and blue tail. Squawking swifts can often be seen eating seeds and some grubs in northern estuaries, or now and then in bushes. These semi-solitary birds often mingle with groups of eastern thrushs. CALL: a type of squawking - first hoarse then low "er-kok kraa-chi-kraa chip". BROWN-BREASTED SWIFT The brown-breasted swift is notable for its yellow neck and its yellow tail. Its' remarkable oversized head typically lets you identify one. Brown-breasted swifts may often be spotted in eastern conifers or in mountain tops. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and nuts. These birds only survive far from human populations, in flocks. CALL: a squawking that starts melodic and ends high, which might be transcribed "chi-pip kok-wee-pip chi-pip kok-wee-pipCHIP". GOLDEN-HEADED GUINEAFOWL We know nothing about the golden-headed guineafowl. SOUTHERN COOT The southern coot resembles the uncommon coot but is much smaller than it, possessing a white breast and brown shoulder. Southern coots may never be found in southern estuaries searching for smelt, bass, and snappers. They can typically be told apart by their narrow wings and throats. Singley, they will steal sandwiches. CALL: a type of singing - first tuneful then melodic "ah-coo wee-ai". TROPICAL SWIFT We know nothing about the tropical swift. GOLDEN-WINGED VULTURE The golden-winged vulture is somewhat smaller than the crimson-throated vulture, possessing a black beak and yellow head. Both birds have a yellow head. Golden-winged vultures may occasionally be found in northern undergrowth searching for rodents. With many of their kind, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a singing that starts high and ends low, which resembles "ka-coo rik-kyik ka-coo rik-kyikRIK". COMMON SWALLOW The common swallow is slightly larger than the golden-tailed swallow, and has a gray wing and brown crest. Its' conspicuous speckled beak generally lets you identify one. Common swallows can often be seen eating fruits and nuts in eastern treetops, or now and then in bushes. They have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a kind of "KRAAoo-ah-per ka KRAAoo-ah-per". EASTERN COOT The eastern coot is slightly larger than the uncommon coot, and has a yellow crest and golden wing. Both birds have a yellow head and a golden throat. Eastern coots feed on trout and other freshwater fish in eastern rivers. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a sort of tweeting - first abrasive then tuneful "PIPah-ai-kraa". WHITE-THROATED WOODPECKER The white-throated woodpecker is slightly smaller than the golden-beaked woodpecker, and has a golden shoulder and white throat. Their colors are completely different. White-throated woodpeckers sometimes inhabit southern undergrowth or beaches where they usually subsist on seeds and driftwood-feeding insects. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a "KAchip-er-chi ou". SOUTHERN GREBE A relative of the northern grebe, the southern grebe is smaller than it, possessing a gray neck and yellow shoulder. Southern grebes can sometimes be spotted around southern lakes or at times in southern shrubbery. A bird living with a few of their kind, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a sort of chattering - first hoarse then abrasive "KOKkraa-rik-chip KOKkraa-rik-chipER".