The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1740267502.470921: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* RIVER GULL The river gull is a gull with a blue wing and a black head. They can usually be distinguished by their speckled wings and heads. River gulls feed on freshwater fish in northern bushes. They thrive in cities. CALL: a low "ou-pip ou-pipKA". - YELLOW-BEAKED GULL A relative of the river gull, the yellow-beaked gull is somewhat smaller than it, and has a red breast and gray head. Both birds have a golden shoulder. Yellow-beaked gulls can often be observed around eastern estuaries or at times in eastern bushes. These flocking birds often mingle with groups of blue-breasted guineafowls. CALL: a low singing which resembles "per-coo per-cooOU". - MOUNTAIN KESTREL The mountain kestrel is notable for its golden neck and its gray throat. One can be distinguished by its striped head and its' speckled shoulder. Mountain kestrels feed on other birds in northern cliffsides. In pairs, they travel without rest accross continents and over oceans South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a type of squawking - first melodic then high "rik-pip". BLUE-SHOULDERED GULL The blue-shouldered gull is sometimes incorrectly identified as the yellow-beaked gull and is much larger than it. The blue-shouldered gull has a white tail and red wing. One can be told apart by its tufted tail and its' striped head. Blue-shouldered gulls may sometimes be spotted in western shrubbery or in lakes. Their diet consists primarily of berries and aquatic insects. They will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a chattering that starts low and ends abrasive, which resembles "ka-ai klip". - TWEETING COOT A coot with a white tail is the tweeting coot. Usually, one can be identified by its mottled head and its' notable narrow neck. You are most likely to discover tweeting coots in northern mountain tops. There, they can often be seen consuming brittlefish, lanternfish, and eelouts. Alone, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a "ah-ai-er ah-ai-erWEE". BLUE-NECKED GULL We know nothing about the blue-necked gull. GRAY-THROATED KESTREL The gray-throated kestrel is slightly larger than the mountain kestrel, possessing a black wing and golden breast. Gray-throated kestrels can sometimes be observed eating frogs and fish in western estuaries, or now and then in undergrowth. These birds only survive far from human populations, with many of their kind. CALL: a screeching that starts high and ends hoarse, which might be transcribed "er-ai". - BROWN-NECKED VULTURE A vulture with a golden head is the brown-necked vulture. Their speckled heads are remarkable. Brown-necked vultures feed on rabbits, mice, and gophers in eastern bushes. A bird living in flocks, they make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by branches. CALL: a singing that starts abrasive and ends tuneful, which might be transcribed "KAtee-wee KAtee-weeKLIP". MOUNTAIN PARTRIDGE One kind of partridge is the mountain partridge, a bird conspicuous for its golden shoulder and golden head. Typically, one can be identified by its striped tail and its' conspicuous narrow throat. Mountain partridges may often be found in northern bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. A bird living with many of their kind, they often walk among groups of yellow-headed guineafowls. CALL: a "coo-ai-ka kyik coo-ai-ka". COASTAL KESTREL The coastal kestrel is sometimes confused with the gray-throated kestrel and is as large as it. The coastal kestrel has a yellow crest and golden neck. Both birds have a yellow crest. Coastal kestrels often reside in western undergrowth or beaches where they most often subsist on shorebirds. These semi-solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a sort of tweeting - first high then tuneful "wee-pip-wee". SOUTHERN GULL With a golden shoulder, the southern gull is slightly smaller than the blue-necked gull. Both birds have a golden breast and a violet crest. Southern gulls may often be found in southern cliffsides searching for rockfish and skates. They thrive in cities. CALL: a abrasive "per-kok-ou kok". SINGING COOT The singing coot resembles the tweeting coot but is much larger than it, and has a blue beak and brown throat. One can be distinguished by its narrow wing and its' narrow neck. Singing coots can sometimes be found eating freshwater fish in northern undergrowth, or now and then in bushes. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a kind of "ah-klip-kok ah-klip-kokKRAA". - COASTAL SWALLOW One kind of swallow is the coastal swallow, a bird conspicuous for its violet throat and brown neck. One can be distinguished by its striped wing and its' speckled throat. Coastal swallows often live in northern beaches or bushes where they generally subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. A bird living individually or in small groups, they have been devastated by the human settlement of their nesting grounds. CALL: a high "KRAArik-er-ah". RED-SHOULDERED COOT The red-shouldered coot is notable for its red shoulder and its brown throat. They have striped tails and oversized beaks. Red-shouldered coots may often be found in northern conifers searching for trout, salamander, and snails. These birds live in flocks. CALL: a "AIklip-tee-chip klip". YELLOW-WINGED WOODPECKER The yellow-winged woodpecker has a red tail and a yellow wing. Usually, one can be told apart by its speckled breast and its' notable narrow tail. Yellow-winged woodpeckers can often be spotted around eastern canopies or at times in eastern undergrowth. A bird living with many of their kind, they make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by branches. CALL: a hoarse "PIPrik-ah-rik PIPrik-ah-rikKYIK". MOUNTAIN COOT The mountain coot is slightly smaller than the singing coot, and has a black breast and gray beak. Both birds have a brown head and a golden shoulder. Mountain coots often live in southern bushes or cliffsides where they generally subsist on rockfish and skates. They often stand around groups of brown-breasted hawks. CALL: a singing that starts high and ends high, which resembles "AHkraa-kyik kraa AHkraa-kyik". MOUNTAIN GULL With a brown breast, the mountain gull is slightly larger than the southern gull. They have mottled beaks and oversized crests. Mountain gulls often inhabit eastern cliffsides or bushes where they typically subsist on freshwater fish. They collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a high singing which might be transcribed "KAoo-tee". COASTAL KESTREL We know nothing about the coastal kestrel. ARCTIC PARTRIDGE We know nothing about the arctic partridge. BLUE-CRESTED VULTURE The blue-crested vulture is smaller than the brown-necked vulture and is notable for its yellow wing and violet beak. Blue-crested vultures can often be found eating rabbits, mice, and gophers in southern bushes, or now and then in ponds. They have speckled throats and oversized shoulders. These birds make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by branches, in flocks. CALL: a abrasive chattering which might be transcribed "kok-ah-ah wee kok-ah-ah". - GOLDEN-SHOULDERED VULTURE One kind of vulture is the golden-shouldered vulture, a bird remarkable for its white breast and brown tail. Their mottled heads are notable. Golden-shouldered vultures often live in eastern bushes or cliffsides where they most often subsist on other birds. A bird living with many of their kind, they travel reasonable distances North in the spring, to avoid predators. CALL: a type of "ai-oo OOer-er ai-oo OOer-erRIK". MOUNTAIN GUINEAFOWL The mountain guineafowl is a guineafowl with a brown shoulder and a brown crest. Most often, one can be told apart by its striped beak and its' conspicuous narrow throat. You are most likely to discover mountain guineafowls in eastern pine stands. There, they can sometimes be spotted consuming pine cones and small insects. These flocking birds seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a "per-chip kyik-tee-chi kok per-chip kyik-tee-chi". YELLOW-THROATED DUCK The yellow-throated duck has a violet breast and a golden shoulder. One can be told apart by its narrow wing and its' oversized neck. Yellow-throated ducks often reside in western mountain tops or conifers where they usually subsist on trout, salamander, and snails. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a squawking that starts high and ends tuneful, which might be transcribed "chip-wee coo-rik-rik". ARCTIC SWALLOW The arctic swallow is a swallow with a golden beak and a golden wing. Most often, one can be distinguished by its tufted tail and its' notable speckled shoulder. Arctic swallows can often be spotted around eastern conifers or at times in eastern tundra. A bird living in pairs, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a high singing which resembles "kyik-per er-er-ah kraa". TWEETING GULL A bird with a red shoulder and a yellow breast is the tweeting gull. Their tufted necks are conspicuous. Tweeting gulls may often be found in western bushes or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a type of "ai-ou ah-oo-chi ai-ou ah-oo-chiKRAA". RED-HEADED VULTURE The red-headed vulture is much larger than the blue-crested vulture, possessing a brown throat and yellow beak. Red-headed vultures may occasionally be found in eastern bushes or in branches. Their diet consists primarily of squirrels. Most often, one can be distinguished by its narrow tail and its' notable mottled breast. They make their homes in suspended structures woven from branches. CALL: a "chip-chip ka-chip ou chip-chip ka-chip". EASTERN PARTRIDGE A relative of the arctic partridge, the eastern partridge is as large as it, and has a golden throat and golden breast. Eastern partridges feed on seeds, berries, and snails in eastern rivers. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a melodic "pip-coo rik-klip". EASTERN KESTREL A relative of the coastal kestrel, the eastern kestrel is smaller than it, with a brown shoulder and yellow breast. Eastern kestrels may sometimes be found in eastern undergrowth or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of frogs and fish. They have tufted necks and narrow throats. These semi-solitary birds make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a low whistling which might be transcribed "pip-klip ou-klip chip". ARCTIC GULL A relative of the mountain gull, the arctic gull is slightly larger than it, with a white head and golden throat. They have speckled beaks and striped necks. Arctic gulls occasionally reside in western mountain tops or conifers where they usually subsist on trout, salamander, and snails. They seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a sort of "kok-kyik kyik-tee kok-kyik kyik-teeOU". BROWN-NECKED COOT The brown-necked coot is much smaller than the mountain coot, with a yellow tail and red beak. Brown-necked coots feed on crabs, mussels, and a variety of saltwater fish in northern beaches. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a singing that starts abrasive and ends abrasive, which resembles "AHcoo-ah-rik chi AHcoo-ah-rik". CHATTERING WOODPECKER We know nothing about the chattering woodpecker. COMMON COOT The common coot resembles the red-shouldered coot but is smaller than it, possessing a yellow neck and blue shoulder. Their colors are completely different. Common coots can often be found eating salmon and mackerel in eastern tundra, or now and then in conifers. These birds live singley. CALL: a squawking that starts tuneful and ends hoarse, which sounds like "KYIKtee-oo-ah rik". BLACK-SHOULDERED SWALLOW The black-shouldered swallow resembles the coastal swallow but is much smaller than it, possessing a black shoulder and white crest. Black-shouldered swallows often live in northern treetops or lakes where they typically subsist on berries and aquatic insects. Its' conspicuous narrow throat usually lets you identify one. They only survive far from human populations. CALL: a hoarse "KRAAwee-ka-oo KRAAwee-ka-ooKLIP".