The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1775277613.930797: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* BLUE-BREASTED SWIFT The blue-breasted swift is a swift with a yellow neck and a violet throat. Their oversized breasts are notable. You are most likely to discover blue-breasted swifts in eastern beaches. There, they can often be found consuming seeds and driftwood-feeding insects. With many of their kind, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the North in the spring, to avoid predators. CALL: a sort of singing - first low then abrasive "coo-per coo-perTEE". - BLUE-BREASTED SWIFT The blue-breasted swift is smaller than the blue-breasted swift and is notable for its violet shoulder and blue breast. Blue-breasted swifts sometimes occupy western bushes or ponds where they usually subsist on insects. They can most often be told apart by their mottled throats and beaks. These birds travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the North in the spring, to avoid predators, in flocks. CALL: a screeching that starts hoarse and ends hoarse, which might be transcribed "kok-per kok-perER". - GOLDEN-BEAKED DUCK A bird with a crimson crest and a brown tail is the golden-beaked duck. Golden-beaked ducks can often be seen around northern undergrowth or at times in northern treetops. A bird living in large congregations, they make their homes in natural cavities in trees filled out with dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a sort of singing - first abrasive then abrasive "chip-kraa". GOLDEN-NECKED SWIFT The golden-necked swift resembles the blue-breasted swift but is slightly larger than it, possessing a yellow crest and gray wing. You are most likely to discover golden-necked swifts in western conifers. There, they can often be seen eating nuts, seeds, and beetles. A bird living in large congregations, they fly high. CALL: a "tee-coo ka". - WHITE-CRESTED GREBE One kind of grebe is the white-crested grebe, a bird notable for its golden neck and brown shoulder. Generally, one can be identified by its tufted head and its' remarkable narrow throat. White-crested grebes often inhabit eastern bushes or pine stands where they typically subsist on freshwater fish. These flocking birds fly high. CALL: a type of singing - first hoarse then tuneful "ka-kraa-pip ka-kraa-pipKOK". SINGING SWIFT The singing swift is much larger than the golden-necked swift and is notable for its golden shoulder and violet breast. Both birds have a golden shoulder. Singing swifts may often be observed in western bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a hoarse "rik-wee ai rik-wee". RIVER DUCK The river duck is sometimes incorrectly identified as the golden-beaked duck and is smaller than it. The river duck has a golden crest and crimson beak. River ducks may often be spotted in northern lakes searching for berries and aquatic insects. A bird living singley, they collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a "coo-chi". - WHITE-CRESTED COOT The white-crested coot has a crimson breast and a brown wing. White-crested coots may sometimes be seen in western undergrowth searching for freshwater fish. They collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a kind of singing - first melodic then tuneful "WEEah-wee WEEah-weeAI". NORTHERN HAWK The northern hawk is a hawk with a golden shoulder and a brown wing. Northern hawks sometimes live in northern bushes or beaches where they most often subsist on shorebirds. They fly zigzaggingly. CALL: a type of "tee-kraa-chip ah tee-kraa-chip". WHITE-TAILED DUCK We know nothing about the white-tailed duck. SOUTHERN SWIFT The southern swift is much smaller than the singing swift and is notable for its yellow shoulder and red head. Southern swifts may often be found in southern mountain tops or in tundra. Their diet consists primarily of roots and seeds. With a few of their kind, they are found around the homes of the red-throated swallow. CALL: a high "oo-klip-kyik oo". COMMON GREBE The common grebe resembles the white-crested grebe but is much larger than it, with a golden beak and black wing. You are most likely to discover common grebes in eastern estuaries. There, they can often be observed feeding on smelt, bass, and snappers. Alone, they make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by branches. CALL: a kind of singing - first low then high "per-chip-oo per-chip-ooRIK". - TROPICAL GREBE The tropical grebe is a grebe with a yellow head and a yellow neck. One can be identified by its narrow crest and its' speckled breast. Tropical grebes may often be observed in southern undergrowth searching for freshwater fish. A bird living with a few of their kind, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "WEEoo-pip-pip". SCREECHING GULL The screeching gull is a gull with a black tail and a black head. You are most likely to discover screeching gulls in southern treetops. There, they can sometimes be found consuming freshwater fish. They are found around the homes of the brown-breasted vulture. CALL: a kind of screeching - first hoarse then abrasive "CHIer-er-tee ai". COMMON EAGLE A bird with a brown wing and a black neck is the common eagle. One can be identified by its striped head and its' striped throat. Common eagles often inhabit western ponds or rivers where they most often subsist on fresh-water fish. In solitude, they make their homes in suspended structures woven from dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a squawking that starts melodic and ends hoarse, which might be transcribed "AHkyik-coo-er AHkyik-coo-erKLIP". MOUNTAIN GREBE The mountain grebe resembles the common grebe but is much smaller than it, and has a red beak and crimson shoulder. Their striped tails are remarkable. Mountain grebes feed on rockfish and skates in southern cliffsides. A bird living individually or in small groups, they travel without rest accross continents and over oceans North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a kind of chattering - first high then low "AIka-ou per AIka-ou". RIVER SWIFT The river swift is slightly smaller than the southern swift and is notable for its white head and black shoulder. Their colors are completely different. You are most likely to discover river swifts in northern lakes. There, they can often be found feeding on berries and aquatic insects. These birds are found around the homes of the white-tailed coot, singley. CALL: a singing that starts high and ends tuneful, which resembles "KAchi-klip". WHISTLING DUCK The whistling duck is much larger than the white-tailed duck and is notable for its red beak and red head. Whistling ducks feed on rockfish and skates in northern cliffsides. One can be told apart by its oversized breast and its' oversized beak. They thrive in cities. CALL: a hoarse "PERper-kraa per". NORTHERN HAWK The northern hawk is smaller than the northern hawk and is notable for its brown head and golden breast. Northern hawks can sometimes be found eating rodents in northern undergrowth, or now and then in treetops. They fly zigzaggingly. CALL: a hoarse "KYIKer-kraa KYIKer-kraaCHI". COMMON COOT With a white shoulder, the common coot is much smaller than the white-crested coot. Common coots can often be spotted eating freshwater fish in southern treetops, or now and then in shrubbery. Generally, one can be identified by its oversized throat and its' remarkable narrow breast. These solitary birds thrive in suburbs. CALL: a tuneful "oo-rik-klip ai oo-rik-klip". - NORTHERN ALBATROSS A bird with a brown throat and a red shoulder is the northern albatross. Their speckled beaks are notable. Northern albatrosss often live in northern bushes or pine stands where they typically subsist on freshwater fish. With many of their kind, they are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the mountain swallow rather than raising their own young. CALL: a hoarse squawking which resembles "tee-pip KRAAai-pip tee-pip KRAAai-pipOU". BROWN-CRESTED PARTRIDGE A partridge with a golden neck is the brown-crested partridge. They have striped shoulders and narrow breasts. Brown-crested partridges may often be observed in western rivers searching for seeds, berries, and snails. These flocking birds are very shy birds, almost impossible to approach. CALL: a hoarse screeching which resembles "kyik-pip oo-coo-ka ai kyik-pip oo-coo-ka". UNCOMMON FLYCATCHER The uncommon flycatcher is remarkable for its red neck and its brown wing. One can be told apart by its mottled head and its' narrow tail. Uncommon flycatchers may sometimes be found in eastern mountain tops or in conifers. Their diet consists primarily of nuts, seeds, and beetles. These flocking birds fly zigzaggingly. CALL: a whistling that starts low and ends high, which resembles "kyik-klip per-wee-chi". NORTHERN GUINEAFOWL A guineafowl with a yellow tail is the northern guineafowl. Northern guineafowls feed on seeds, worms, and berries in northern undergrowth. In large congregations, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a type of singing - first abrasive then low "ah-tee ka-ka-kraa ka". BROWN-THROATED SWALLOW The brown-throated swallow has a brown wing and a brown throat. You are most likely to discover brown-throated swallows in western undergrowth. There, they can often be found consuming seeds, worms, and berries. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, in flocks. CALL: a tweeting that starts tuneful and ends tuneful, which resembles "ou-per tee-klip-chi ou-per tee-klip-chiCHIP". BLUE-BREASTED COOT We know nothing about the blue-breasted coot. RED-THROATED HAWK The red-throated hawk is slightly larger than the northern hawk, and has a black wing and red throat. You are most likely to discover red-throated hawks in western cliffsides. There, they can sometimes be seen consuming other birds. They have been devastated by extensive hunting. CALL: a melodic "kyik-ou oo-klip". GOLDEN-TAILED DUCK The golden-tailed duck is sometimes confused with the whistling duck and is much smaller than it. The golden-tailed duck has a brown throat and black wing. Golden-tailed ducks can never be seen eating rockfish and skates in northern cliffsides, or now and then in pine stands. One can be distinguished by its speckled crest and its' striped shoulder. In large congregations, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a hoarse "ou-ou kyik-per rik". BROWN-TAILED SWIFT We know nothing about the brown-tailed swift. TROPICAL GREBE The tropical grebe is sometimes incorrectly identified as the mountain grebe and is slightly smaller than it. The tropical grebe has a yellow head and golden beak. They can most often be told apart by their striped heads and wings. Tropical grebes often occupy eastern canopies or swamps where they most often subsist on catfish, bass, sunfish, and minnows. These semi-solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "COOpip-per-ka klip COOpip-per-ka". PRAIRIE EAGLE A relative of the common eagle, the prairie eagle is slightly smaller than it, with a golden neck and brown beak. Prairie eagles can often be observed around northern treetops or at times in northern lakes. These solitary birds have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a abrasive singing which resembles "KOKper-klip-ai". EASTERN GULL The eastern gull resembles the screeching gull but is much smaller than it, and has a white beak and golden crest. Eastern gulls may often be found in eastern cliffsides searching for rockfish and skates. These birds live singley. CALL: a type of chattering - first abrasive then high "KAoo-ai-rik er". GOLDEN-SHOULDERED GREBE The golden-shouldered grebe is sometimes confused with the tropical grebe and is much smaller than it. The golden-shouldered grebe has a black neck and blue throat. Golden-shouldered grebes may often be spotted in eastern undergrowth or in branches. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. These flocking birds have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a kind of "CHIPchi-kok-ai CHIPchi-kok-aiCHIP".