The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1743724217.074209: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* SQUAWKING SWALLOW A swallow with a yellow breast is the squawking swallow. Squawking swallows can often be spotted eating seeds and spiders in western cliffsides, or now and then in bushes. A bird living with a few of their kind, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the West in the spring, to mate. CALL: a melodic squawking which sounds like "ka-chi ka-chiKRAA". - RED-SHOULDERED SWALLOW The red-shouldered swallow resembles the squawking swallow but is slightly smaller than it, possessing a red crest and golden tail. Red-shouldered swallows often occupy western branches or bushes where they most often subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. They have narrow crests and speckled tails. A bird living in flocks, they are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the brown-necked woodpecker rather than raising their own young. CALL: a type of "ka-kyik ka-kyikCHI". - RARE SWALLOW The rare swallow is notable for its brown shoulder and its red wing. Rare swallows can occasionally be observed eating fruits and nuts in southern treetops, or now and then in shrubbery. These birds live alone. CALL: a tweeting that starts hoarse and ends abrasive, which sounds like "oo-rik". BLACK-CRESTED SWALLOW The black-crested swallow is slightly larger than the red-shouldered swallow and is notable for its black crest and red breast. You are most likely to discover black-crested swallows in western undergrowth. There, they can occasionally be found eating seeds, worms, and berries. A bird living with many of their kind, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a sort of squawking - first low then abrasive "ou-tee coo". - MOUNTAIN FLYCATCHER The mountain flycatcher is a flycatcher with a white head and a yellow neck. One can be identified by its striped breast and its' narrow crest. Mountain flycatchers sometimes occupy western pine stands or bushes where they generally subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. These flocking birds make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a hoarse squawking which resembles "tee-ka-coo tee-ka-cooTEE". SOUTHERN SWALLOW We know nothing about the southern swallow. GOLDEN-HEADED SWALLOW The golden-headed swallow is smaller than the rare swallow, and has a crimson tail and red shoulder. They can usually be identified by their mottled crests and breasts. Golden-headed swallows may often be spotted in northern rivers or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, in flocks. CALL: a "chi-chip". - WHISTLING EGRET One kind of egret is the whistling egret, a bird conspicuous for its white neck and yellow beak. They have narrow throats and mottled necks. Whistling egrets may often be spotted in western bushes or in lakes. Their diet consists primarily of berries and aquatic insects. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a whistling that starts melodic and ends low, which sounds like "COOai-ou COOai-ouRIK". ARCTIC HAWK The arctic hawk has a golden tail and a yellow shoulder. One can be identified by its tufted breast and its' striped tail. Arctic hawks feed on rodents and wrens in southern conifers. They mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a low singing which might be transcribed "rik-kyik-ai ou rik-kyik-ai". BROWN-THROATED SWALLOW With a golden breast, the brown-throated swallow is somewhat larger than the golden-headed swallow. They have striped crests and narrow necks. You are most likely to discover brown-throated swallows in northern undergrowth. There, they can often be spotted consuming seeds, worms, and berries. These flocking birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a tuneful "er-wee-pip". GOLDEN-NECKED SWALLOW A relative of the southern swallow, the golden-necked swallow is much larger than it, possessing a brown wing and black breast. Both birds have a brown head and a golden neck. Golden-necked swallows may occasionally be spotted in northern conifers or in mountain tops. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and nuts. A bird living in flocks, they only survive far from human populations. CALL: a sort of squawking - first hoarse then low "wee-kraa-kyik wee". BLUE-BEAKED FLYCATCHER A relative of the mountain flycatcher, the blue-beaked flycatcher is slightly larger than it, possessing a blue wing and blue neck. Blue-beaked flycatchers can often be found eating nuts, seeds, and beetles in northern conifers, or now and then in tundra. Its' conspicuous narrow tail typically lets you identify one. A bird living in large congregations, they travel short distances to better nesting grounds further East in the winter, to raise their young. CALL: a kind of "ou-per-rik ou-per-rikKRAA". - SOUTHERN TINAMOU A bird with a yellow neck and a golden throat is the southern tinamou. One can be distinguished by its narrow wing and its' striped shoulder. Southern tinamous may often be found in southern rivers or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, worms, and berries. They have been devastated by pesticide use. CALL: a kind of singing - first low then abrasive "WEEklip-ai-tee". RIVER THRUSH One kind of thrush is the river thrush, a bird notable for its yellow breast and brown beak. One can be told apart by its oversized wing and its' oversized breast. You are most likely to discover river thrushs in southern lakes. There, they can often be observed consuming berries and aquatic insects. These birds make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of dead twigs and leaves, in solitude. CALL: a "TEEai-ou-chi wee". TROPICAL EAGLE The tropical eagle has a yellow neck and a white breast. Tropical eagles may often be found in western swamps searching for amphibians and fish. These semi-solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a chattering that starts tuneful and ends melodic, which sounds like "ERchip-kok-ou ERchip-kok-ouCHI". PRAIRIE FLYCATCHER We know nothing about the prairie flycatcher. GOLDEN-SHOULDERED SWALLOW The golden-shouldered swallow is as large as the golden-necked swallow and is notable for its brown tail and gray wing. Golden-shouldered swallows sometimes live in eastern branches or undergrowth where they most often subsist on seeds, worms, and berries. One can be told apart by its oversized head and its' speckled neck. With many of their kind, they travel long distances annualy to the same sites in the East in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a kind of tweeting - first melodic then tuneful "TEEchip-er". FOREST SWALLOW The forest swallow resembles the brown-throated swallow but is smaller than it, with a red neck and golden shoulder. Forest swallows occasionally live in western undergrowth or bushes where they usually subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. In pairs, they have begun to rebound due to breeding and reintroduction programs. CALL: a abrasive chattering which sounds like "OUai-tee ka". COASTAL HAWK A relative of the arctic hawk, the coastal hawk is slightly smaller than it, possessing a white shoulder and red wing. Its' remarkable tufted throat usually lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover coastal hawks in western bushes. There, they can often be seen eating rabbits, mice, and gophers. A bird living singley, they thrive in suburbs. CALL: a "RIKou-tee RIKou-teeCHI". RED-SHOULDERED EGRET The red-shouldered egret resembles the whistling egret but is slightly larger than it, possessing a red wing and brown throat. You are most likely to discover red-shouldered egrets in western swamps. There, they can often be spotted consuming catfish, bass, sunfish, and minnows. Their oversized heads are conspicuous. These flocking birds travel long distances annualy to the same sites in the East in the winter, to raise their young. CALL: a sort of tweeting - first hoarse then low "chi-ai-pip rik chi-ai-pip". - RARE WOODPECKER The rare woodpecker is a woodpecker with a black throat and a golden neck. Rare woodpeckers may occasionally be found in northern bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. In pairs, they often walk among groups of red-tailed hawks. CALL: a kind of tweeting - first high then high "er-chi KYIKcoo-wee er-chi KYIKcoo-weeCHI". BROWN-TAILED THRUSH One kind of thrush is the brown-tailed thrush, a bird conspicuous for its brown tail and crimson head. Their striped heads are notable. Brown-tailed thrushs sometimes reside in southern rivers or bushes where they usually subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds make their homes in suspended structures woven from dead twigs and leaves, in flocks. CALL: a melodic "ou-wee kraa-ai-ou kraa ou-wee kraa-ai-ou". BROWN-TAILED DUCK One kind of duck is the brown-tailed duck, a bird conspicuous for its white wing and brown tail. They have tufted shoulders and tufted beaks. Brown-tailed ducks can often be found eating freshwater fish in eastern treetops, or now and then in shrubbery. These semi-solitary birds collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a kind of squawking - first hoarse then abrasive "ka-wee oo-klip-kraa". YELLOW-SHOULDERED FLYCATCHER The yellow-shouldered flycatcher is a flycatcher with a white wing and a red tail. Its' notable striped beak generally lets you identify one. Yellow-shouldered flycatchers may occasionally be spotted in southern shrubbery or in lakes. Their diet consists primarily of berries and aquatic insects. They often stand around groups of coastal flycatchers. CALL: a abrasive "oo-klip kraa-kraa-ka ai". MOUNTAIN HAWK The mountain hawk has a brown wing and a red neck. Most often, one can be distinguished by its oversized neck and its' remarkable striped head. Mountain hawks may often be spotted in northern cliffsides searching for other birds. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a groaning that starts low and ends abrasive, which resembles "chi-kyik wee-kraa-klip chi-kyik wee-kraa-klipCHIP". SQUAWKING EGRET The squawking egret resembles the red-shouldered egret but is slightly larger than it, with a brown neck and brown crest. One can be told apart by its striped throat and its' striped head. Squawking egrets can occasionally be found eating trout and other freshwater fish in western rivers, or now and then in undergrowth. These birds live individually or in small groups. CALL: a sort of squawking - first hoarse then abrasive "klip-wee kyik-per er klip-wee kyik-per". GROANING HAWK We know nothing about the groaning hawk. BLUE-THROATED SWALLOW The blue-throated swallow is sometimes incorrectly identified as the forest swallow and is slightly smaller than it. The blue-throated swallow has a golden breast and black tail. You are most likely to discover blue-throated swallows in eastern tundra. There, they can sometimes be observed eating roots and seeds. They can typically be distinguished by their mottled crests and shoulders. With many of their kind, they fly rapidly. CALL: a "oo-ka ah-ka chi". RED-BEAKED SWALLOW The red-beaked swallow is sometimes confused with the golden-shouldered swallow and is somewhat smaller than it. The red-beaked swallow has a red beak and white breast. Red-beaked swallows feed on insects and tubers in eastern swamps. With many of their kind, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a type of "kraa-per ou-klip kraa-per ou-klipCOO". PRAIRIE FLYCATCHER The prairie flycatcher is larger than the prairie flycatcher and is notable for its red crest and red head. They have narrow tails and mottled throats. Prairie flycatchers may sometimes be seen in western lakes searching for berries and aquatic insects. They are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the western barbet rather than raising their own young. CALL: a "KAkraa-pip-tee ah KAkraa-pip-tee". ARCTIC EAGLE With a yellow beak, the arctic eagle is much larger than the tropical eagle. One can be identified by its oversized crest and its' striped wing. Arctic eagles may often be found in northern mountain tops or in tundra. Their diet consists primarily of lemmings, squirrels, and arctic rabbits. They travel reasonable distances North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a squawking that starts abrasive and ends abrasive, which might be transcribed "COOcoo-ai-oo". BLUE-TAILED THRUSH The blue-tailed thrush is slightly larger than the river thrush and is notable for its black neck and blue tail. Blue-tailed thrushs may often be found in eastern tundra searching for roots and seeds. Generally, one can be told apart by its speckled crest and its' notable oversized tail. A bird living in flocks, they will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a abrasive "RIKcoo-kyik-chip kok". BROWN-WINGED TINAMOU A relative of the southern tinamou, the brown-winged tinamou is slightly smaller than it, and has a yellow head and golden beak. Its' notable mottled throat most often lets you identify one. Brown-winged tinamous often live in western treetops or bushes where they usually subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. These flocking birds fly rapidly. CALL: a sort of "PIPah-klip-oo PIPah-klip-ooER".