The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1735178941.1536462: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* PRAIRIE SWIFT The prairie swift has a crimson throat and a golden tail. Prairie swifts feed on fruits and nuts in northern treetops. A bird living alone, they are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the red-necked grouse rather than raising their own young. CALL: a "klip-coo klip-cooPER". - SINGING SWIFT We know nothing about the singing swift. - WHISTLING SWIFT One kind of swift is the whistling swift, a bird notable for its golden crest and yellow tail. They can typically be identified by their tufted tails and beaks. Whistling swifts may often be found in southern bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These semi-solitary birds can always find their way home. CALL: a tuneful whistling which might be transcribed "er-ah". BLACK-THROATED SWIFT The black-throated swift is slightly smaller than the singing swift, possessing a brown breast and violet beak. Both birds have a black throat. Black-throated swifts feed on pine cones and small insects in southern pine stands. These flocking birds are found around the homes of the red-shouldered gull. CALL: a "ah-wee kyik". - RED-BREASTED GREBE The red-breasted grebe is a grebe with a gray shoulder and a yellow throat. Its' remarkable mottled beak typically lets you identify one. Red-breasted grebes can often be observed eating brittlefish, lanternfish, and eelouts in western mountain tops, or now and then in tundra. These birds make their homes in suspended structures woven from moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string, in large congregations. CALL: a tuneful "rik-pip-kyik rik-pip-kyikRIK". WHITE-BEAKED SWIFT The white-beaked swift is much larger than the black-throated swift and is notable for its yellow throat and white beak. Its' conspicuous speckled breast typically lets you identify one. White-beaked swifts feed on seeds and spiders in northern cliffsides. A bird living in flocks, they live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into backyards or golf courses. CALL: a sort of "chi-coo oo chi-coo". RIVER SWIFT The river swift is smaller than the whistling swift and is notable for its red crest and white breast. One can be distinguished by its striped wing and its' speckled breast. River swifts may often be seen in eastern reeds or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, berries, and snails. Alone, they are found around the homes of the arctic swallow. CALL: a high squawking which might be transcribed "wee-kyik-per wee". - VIOLET-BREASTED EAGLE The violet-breasted eagle has a brown head and a violet breast. Typically, one can be told apart by its speckled wing and its' notable narrow neck. Violet-breasted eagles feed on rabbits, mice, and gophers in southern bushes. A bird living in large congregations, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a abrasive tweeting which sounds like "CHIkok-wee CHIkok-weeKOK". GOLDEN-NECKED DUCK The golden-necked duck is notable for its golden neck and its golden beak. Typically, one can be identified by its speckled breast and its' conspicuous speckled crest. Golden-necked ducks can often be seen around eastern pine stands or at times in eastern cliffsides. They make their homes in suspended structures woven from moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a squawking that starts tuneful and ends melodic, which might be transcribed "coo-ka-wee er coo-ka-wee". GOLDEN-CRESTED SWIFT A relative of the river swift, the golden-crested swift is much larger than it, and has a white breast and golden crest. Golden-crested swifts often reside in eastern canopies or rivers where they most often subsist on seeds, berries, and snails. Its' notable oversized crest usually lets you identify one. In flocks, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "kraa-pip-tee". GOLDEN-TAILED SWIFT The golden-tailed swift is somewhat smaller than the white-beaked swift and is notable for its golden tail and blue throat. Both birds have a yellow crest. Golden-tailed swifts may often be spotted in eastern undergrowth searching for seeds, worms, and berries. A bird living in flocks, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a tuneful singing which might be transcribed "ou-pip-pip chip". SINGING GREBE A relative of the red-breasted grebe, the singing grebe is larger than it, with a black shoulder and gray head. Their striped wings are conspicuous. Singing grebes can often be found around western mountain tops or at times in western conifers. These birds live alone. CALL: a melodic "ai-per-per ai-per-perAI". - ARCTIC EAGLE The arctic eagle is remarkable for its black beak and its white tail. Typically, one can be told apart by its narrow beak and its' notable narrow shoulder. Arctic eagles feed on lemmings, squirrels, and arctic rabbits in eastern tundra. A bird living alone, they travel reasonable distances North in the fall, to withstand the weather. CALL: a "KYIKkok-ah-tee". COMMON GROUSE A bird with a golden breast and a crimson crest is the common grouse. Common grouses may often be observed in southern bushes or in branches. Their diet consists primarily of fruits and nuts. They thrive in towns. CALL: a high "OUcoo-oo-klip chip". FOREST DUCK The forest duck has a yellow wing and a black head. You are most likely to discover forest ducks in southern undergrowth. There, they can often be seen consuming freshwater fish. These birds make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of branches, singley. CALL: a kind of "CHIPpip-chi-coo CHIPpip-chi-cooRIK". GOLDEN-THROATED GREBE The golden-throated grebe is much smaller than the singing grebe and is notable for its yellow wing and red head. Both birds have a brown tail and a yellow beak and a black shoulder. Golden-throated grebes can never be spotted around western treetops or at times in western shrubbery. They are found around the homes of the yellow-shouldered oriole. CALL: a kind of singing - first high then hoarse "KYIKwee-ai oo KYIKwee-ai". BROWN-THROATED SWIFT We know nothing about the brown-throated swift. BLUE-TAILED SWIFT The blue-tailed swift is much smaller than the golden-crested swift, and has a yellow wing and brown crest. Blue-tailed swifts can often be observed around northern tundra or at times in northern conifers. Generally, one can be identified by its speckled wing and its' notable speckled neck. These semi-solitary birds have been devastated by pesticide use. CALL: a kind of chattering - first tuneful then hoarse "AIkraa-chip tee". COASTAL DUCK We know nothing about the coastal duck. CHATTERING EAGLE A relative of the violet-breasted eagle, the chattering eagle is somewhat larger than it, possessing a violet throat and brown head. Chattering eagles may sometimes be seen in eastern conifers searching for rodents and wrens. These semi-solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a type of chattering - first high then high "chip-kyik-coo kyik chip-kyik-coo". - FOREST BRUSH-TURKEY One kind of brush-turkey is the forest brush-turkey, a bird conspicuous for its red wing and red beak. Forest brush-turkeys can often be observed around eastern bushes or at times in eastern branches. A bird living with many of their kind, they are found around the homes of the violet-shouldered swallow. CALL: a "ah-klip KLIPklip-ou ah-klip KLIPklip-ouKYIK". GRAY-TAILED HAWK One kind of hawk is the gray-tailed hawk, a bird remarkable for its red neck and brown shoulder. They have oversized necks and narrow tails. Gray-tailed hawks can occasionally be seen around eastern branches or at times in eastern treetops. A bird living with a few of their kind, they have been devastated by the dissapearance of their prey. CALL: a abrasive singing which resembles "tee-chip per-kraa-rik ou tee-chip per-kraa-rik". WHITE-WINGED GROUSE A bird with a violet shoulder and a golden head is the white-winged grouse. One can be distinguished by its oversized head and its' narrow crest. White-winged grouses may often be found in western bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These flocking birds travel short distances to better nesting grounds further South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a "rik-ka ka-ou-er". GOLDEN-TAILED FLYCATCHER One kind of flycatcher is the golden-tailed flycatcher, a bird conspicuous for its red breast and golden beak. They can generally be identified by their narrow wings and beaks. Golden-tailed flycatchers may often be observed in northern tundra searching for roots and seeds. A bird living with many of their kind, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a kind of "pip-per per-klip-rik pip". WHITE-THROATED THRUSH The white-throated thrush is a thrush with a white throat and a violet breast. White-throated thrushs often occupy western bushes or treetops where they most often subsist on fruits and nuts. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a kind of groaning - first hoarse then tuneful "ou-ou tee-ai-er ou-ou tee-ai-erOO". RED-THROATED EAGLE We know nothing about the red-throated eagle. YELLOW-WINGED DUCK The yellow-winged duck is slightly smaller than the coastal duck and is notable for its black neck and red breast. Generally, one can be told apart by its oversized head and its' conspicuous oversized tail. Yellow-winged ducks can sometimes be spotted around southern cliffsides or at times in southern bushes. A bird living with many of their kind, they often walk among groups of common shellducks. CALL: a type of groaning - first low then tuneful "tee-ka oo-per". YELLOW-NECKED SWIFT The yellow-necked swift is slightly smaller than the blue-tailed swift, with a red tail and gray crest. Yellow-necked swifts often occupy eastern beaches or estuaries where they generally subsist on seeds and some grubs. They have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a kind of squawking - first low then low "ai-er oo-oo er". YELLOW-TAILED SWIFT We know nothing about the yellow-tailed swift. GOLDEN-TAILED GREBE The golden-tailed grebe is somewhat larger than the golden-throated grebe and is notable for its red head and black crest. Its' notable mottled shoulder usually lets you identify one. Golden-tailed grebes sometimes occupy northern estuaries or bushes where they most often subsist on freshwater fish. These birds seem to to do nothing at all, in flocks. CALL: a melodic "RIKchi-pip-er ah RIKchi-pip-er". EASTERN DUCK The eastern duck is sometimes confused with the forest duck and is larger than it. The eastern duck has a golden wing and blue crest. Eastern ducks may often be observed in eastern cliffsides searching for rockfish and skates. Its' notable tufted breast generally lets you identify one. These birds thrive in cities, singley. CALL: a "KOKchip-ka-kok". YELLOW-THROATED GROUSE With a golden neck, the yellow-throated grouse is slightly larger than the common grouse. Their colors are completely different. You are most likely to discover yellow-throated grouses in western ponds. There, they can often be observed eating insects. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, with many of their kind. CALL: a "KLIPper-kok-wee oo". CRIMSON-NECKED EAGLE The crimson-necked eagle resembles the arctic eagle but is as large as it, and has a white crest and crimson neck. Crimson-necked eagles feed on flocks of small birds in eastern pine stands. Usually, one can be distinguished by its striped throat and its' notable tufted tail. These birds make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by dead twigs and leaves, in flocks. CALL: a sort of singing - first melodic then abrasive "AIchip-chi-per AIchip-chi-perCHI".