The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic

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BLACK-TAILED HAWK
One kind of hawk is the black-tailed hawk, a bird notable for its yellow wing and black head. Its' remarkable striped breast typically lets you identify one. Black-tailed hawks occasionally inhabit western rivers or swamps where they usually subsist on amphibians and fish. A bird living in pairs, they seek hot currents of wind to fly high on. CALL: a sort of squawking - first low then melodic "tee-ah tee-ahKRAA". 
 
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EASTERN HAWK
With a yellow beak, the eastern hawk is as large as the black-tailed hawk. Eastern hawks can often be spotted eating squirrels in eastern branches, or now and then in bushes. These birds live alone. CALL: a hoarse "ou-er ou-erTEE". 
 
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BLUE-CRESTED SWIFT
A swift with a black wing is the blue-crested swift. Blue-crested swifts occasionally inhabit southern tundra or mountain tops where they most often subsist on seeds and nuts. These flocking birds live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into backyards or roofs. CALL: a kind of "ah-per". 
 
COMMON HAWK
The common hawk is sometimes confused with the eastern hawk and is slightly smaller than it. The  common hawk has a white head and brown tail. Its' remarkable narrow shoulder typically lets you identify one. Common hawks often inhabit western bushes or treetops where they most often subsist on squirrels, mice, and other birds. These solitary birds fly slowly. CALL: a tweeting that starts low and ends abrasive, which resembles "ou-ka oo". 
 
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GOLDEN-SHOULDERED HAWK
One kind of hawk is the golden-shouldered hawk, a bird notable for its white wing and red neck. They can most often be told apart by their striped wings and shoulders. Golden-shouldered hawks occasionally occupy northern bushes or beaches where they usually subsist on shorebirds. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a high singing which resembles "chi-tee-pip chi-tee-pipAH". 
 
YELLOW-TAILED HAWK
The yellow-tailed hawk is sometimes mistaken for the common hawk and is somewhat larger than it. The  yellow-tailed hawk has a brown shoulder and yellow tail. One can be told apart by its narrow tail and its' oversized breast. Yellow-tailed hawks often reside in western undergrowth or canopies where they typically subsist on small birds. These birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the brown-shouldered duck rather than raising their own young, in flocks. CALL: a hoarse squawking which resembles "chip-tee ka chip-tee". 
 
NORTHERN SWIFT
The northern swift is sometimes mistaken for the blue-crested swift and is somewhat larger than it. The  northern swift has a red throat and blue neck. Northern swifts may sometimes be found in northern rivers searching for seeds, berries, and snails. Their mottled crests are conspicuous. These semi-solitary birds collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a low squawking which resembles "rik-ai". 
 
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WHITE-BREASTED VULTURE
One kind of vulture is the white-breasted vulture, a bird conspicuous for its brown throat and blue head. One can be distinguished by its speckled shoulder and its' narrow throat. White-breasted vultures may sometimes be spotted in eastern canopies or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of fresh-water fish. With many of their kind, they make their homes in flat platforms composed of moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a sort of whistling - first high then low "ERai-chi ERai-chiKA". 
 
RIVER VULTURE
The river vulture has a brown wing and a violet breast. Their speckled wings are notable. River vultures often inhabit southern reeds or lakes where they usually subsist on fish and frugs. Singley, they travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the West in the spring, to mate. CALL: a tuneful singing which might be transcribed "per-chi-kyik ai per-chi-kyik". 
 
PRAIRIE SWIFT
The prairie swift resembles the northern swift but is slightly smaller than it, and has a crimson head and gray throat. You are most likely to discover prairie swifts in southern shrubbery. There, they can sometimes be seen feeding on seeds and grubs. Usually, one can be distinguished by its oversized throat and its' remarkable oversized beak. These birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the coastal swift rather than raising their own young, alone. CALL: a abrasive "er-kyik-kok". 
 
RED-BEAKED HAWK
The red-beaked hawk resembles the yellow-tailed hawk but is slightly smaller than it, with a yellow throat and white wing. Red-beaked hawks feed on fresh-water fish in western rivers. Generally, one can be told apart by its narrow throat and its' conspicuous striped breast. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a low singing which sounds like "coo-tee-per kok". 
 
BROWN-THROATED HAWK
The brown-throated hawk is much smaller than the golden-shouldered hawk, possessing a brown throat and yellow head. Both birds have  a brown throat and a yellow breast. Brown-throated hawks can often be found eating lemmings, squirrels, and arctic rabbits in western tundra, or now and then in conifers. A bird living in large congregations, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a low singing which resembles "tee-kyik-oo tee-kyik-ooPIP". 
 
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EASTERN SWALLOW
The eastern swallow is a swallow with a golden head and a violet crest. Typically, one can be distinguished by its mottled crest and its' notable tufted tail. Eastern swallows feed on insects in eastern ponds. In pairs, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a "WEEkok-wee-tee". 
 
COMMON GULL
A bird with a black crest and a violet wing is the common gull. Common gulls can often be found eating freshwater fish in western shrubbery, or now and then in lakes. These solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a whistling that starts tuneful and ends low, which might be transcribed "OOwee-chi-kyik chi". 
 
GOLDEN-HEADED ORIOLE
A oriole with a yellow shoulder is the golden-headed oriole. They can most often be distinguished by their tufted beaks and breasts. Golden-headed orioles can sometimes be spotted eating seeds and spiders in western cliffsides, or now and then in bushes. These birds travel long distances annualy to the same sites in the West in the spring, to mate, in flocks. CALL: a "KAchip-wee-wee KAchip-wee-weePIP". 
 
COMMON HAWK
The common hawk is larger than the brown-throated hawk and is notable for its red breast and yellow crest. Common hawks may often be seen in eastern lakes or in ponds. Their diet consists primarily of fish, frogs, rodents, and lizards. A bird living in solitude, they fly slowly. CALL: a tuneful "RIKkyik-kraa oo RIKkyik-kraa". 
 
SINGING HAWK
A relative of the red-beaked hawk, the singing hawk is somewhat smaller than it, and has a golden neck and golden beak. Singing hawks can often be seen around southern cliffsides or at times in southern pine stands. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a "KYIKkyik-er". 
 
MOUNTAIN SWIFT
The mountain swift is slightly larger than the prairie swift and is notable for its white wing and white tail. You are most likely to discover mountain swifts in eastern bushes. There, they can often be observed feeding on seeds, grubs, and berries. One can be told apart by its mottled head and its' mottled beak. Individually or in small groups, they make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a singing that starts melodic and ends tuneful, which resembles "KRAAtee-kyik ai". 
 
MOUNTAIN VULTURE
A relative of the river vulture, the mountain vulture is much larger than it, with a violet tail and black crest. Mountain vultures may often be found in western bushes searching for rabbits, mice, and gophers. A bird living with a few of their kind, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a type of whistling - first hoarse then abrasive "WEEtee-ou WEEtee-ouPER". 
 
VIOLET-NECKED VULTURE
The violet-necked vulture is larger than the white-breasted vulture and is notable for its golden crest and yellow shoulder. You are most likely to discover violet-necked vultures in southern undergrowth. There, they can occasionally be found eating rodents. Their tufted crests are remarkable. These flocking birds travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the South in the winter, to find food. CALL: a high "ah-per-tee kraa ah-per-tee". 
 
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EASTERN DUCK
The eastern duck is remarkable for its white head and its black throat. Their speckled wings are remarkable. Eastern ducks often reside in eastern swamps or undergrowth where they usually subsist on freshwater fish. These birds live singley. CALL: a high "er-ou OUah-wee er-ou OUah-weeKA". 
 
RED-NECKED SWALLOW
A bird with a black wing and a red shoulder is the red-necked swallow. Its' remarkable narrow throat typically lets you identify one. Red-necked swallows can often be spotted around northern branches or at times in northern undergrowth. These birds live in flocks. CALL: a type of "kok-tee per-ah-tee chi kok-tee per-ah-tee". 
 
YELLOW-SHOULDERED FALCON
The yellow-shouldered falcon is conspicuous for its red tail and its violet throat. Yellow-shouldered falcons can sometimes be seen eating rabbits, mice, and gophers in southern bushes, or now and then in lakes. A bird living in flocks, they are found around the homes of the eastern hawk. CALL: a high screeching which might be transcribed "rik-per ah-tee-ka". 
 
RED-TAILED HAWK
The red-tailed hawk is remarkable for its golden throat and its red tail. Their striped wings are remarkable. Red-tailed hawks sometimes live in southern branches or undergrowth where they generally subsist on rodents. Individually or in small groups, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a high singing which sounds like "chi-wee ka-klip-rik ai". 
 
WHITE-THROATED COOT
The white-throated coot is a coot with a white throat and a golden shoulder. They have narrow shoulders and striped breasts. White-throated coots can sometimes be found eating freshwater fish in northern undergrowth, or now and then in estuaries. These flocking birds are found around the homes of the coastal gull. CALL: a low "klip-chi ka-er-chip klip-chi ka-er-chipRIK". 
 
UNCOMMON VULTURE
With a red tail, the uncommon vulture is slightly larger than the violet-necked vulture. Uncommon vultures can sometimes be found eating rabbits and small birds in eastern mountain tops, or now and then in conifers. Most often, one can be distinguished by its striped tail and its' conspicuous speckled breast. A bird living with a few of their kind, they have been devastated by unknown but presumably human caused changes. CALL: a kind of singing - first low then hoarse "tee-oo ah-coo er tee-oo ah-coo". 
 
RIVER VULTURE
We know nothing about the river vulture.
 
UNCOMMON SWIFT
The uncommon swift is much smaller than the mountain swift and is notable for its brown wing and brown throat. Both birds have  a golden neck. You are most likely to discover uncommon swifts in northern bushes. There, they can sometimes be found eating seeds, grubs, and berries. A bird living with a few of their kind, they fly high. CALL: a low singing which resembles "ai-kok chip-ka rik". 
 
COASTAL HAWK
The coastal hawk is slightly smaller than the singing hawk and is notable for its black throat and yellow tail. Their colors are completely different. Coastal hawks can occasionally be seen around northern bushes or at times in northern beaches. These birds live alone. CALL: a "ah-klip kok-er ah-klip kok-erOO". 
 
WHISTLING HAWK
The whistling hawk is slightly smaller than the common hawk, with a yellow tail and golden shoulder. Whistling hawks may sometimes be spotted in western undergrowth searching for rodents. Its' conspicuous narrow wing usually lets you identify one. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a whistling that starts low and ends low, which resembles "KYIKchip-rik-pip rik KYIKchip-rik-pip". 
 
NORTHERN ORIOLE
A relative of the golden-headed oriole, the northern oriole is much smaller than it, and has a golden wing and red neck. Northern orioles may often be found in northern undergrowth or in treetops. Their diet consists primarily of fruits and nuts. These birds make their homes in natural cavities in trees filled out with moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string, with a few of their kind. CALL: a low "OOkok-per-kyik". 
 
TROPICAL GULL
We know nothing about the tropical gull.
 
EASTERN SWALLOW
The eastern swallow is much larger than the eastern swallow, and has a black head and black breast. Eastern swallows may often be found in eastern conifers or in mountain tops. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and nuts. One can be distinguished by its narrow throat and its' narrow shoulder. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a kind of "WEEklip-oo-ah WEEklip-oo-ahCOO".