The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1757963968.4337177: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* MOUNTAIN TINAMOU The mountain tinamou is remarkable for its gray shoulder and its brown throat. Mountain tinamous can often be found around southern pine stands or at times in southern bushes. They will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a chattering that starts hoarse and ends high, which resembles "per-tee per-teeKYIK". - VIOLET-BREASTED TINAMOU With a yellow wing, the violet-breasted tinamou is much smaller than the mountain tinamou. Their colors are completely different. Violet-breasted tinamous can occasionally be found around northern rivers or at times in northern canopies. These flocking birds only survive far from human populations. CALL: a type of "per-tee per-teeOU". - UNCOMMON SWIFT The uncommon swift is conspicuous for its brown beak and its black head. Uncommon swifts feed on berries and aquatic insects in northern lakes. They fly high. CALL: a screeching that starts abrasive and ends melodic, which sounds like "klip-kraa". EASTERN TINAMOU The eastern tinamou is sometimes confused with the violet-breasted tinamou and is slightly smaller than it. The eastern tinamou has a golden beak and white shoulder. Their striped necks are notable. Eastern tinamous often live in eastern beaches or bushes where they generally subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, in pairs. CALL: a high singing which resembles "wee-klip pip". - MOUNTAIN GUINEAFOWL The mountain guineafowl is remarkable for its yellow beak and its crimson shoulder. One can be identified by its narrow head and its' speckled neck. Mountain guineafowls may often be found in southern pine stands searching for pine cones and small insects. They seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a sort of "pip-ah-per pip-ah-perCOO". GOLDEN-NECKED TINAMOU The golden-necked tinamou is larger than the eastern tinamou, with a white head and gray throat. Golden-necked tinamous may often be observed in northern cliffsides searching for seeds and spiders. They are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the golden-throated flycatcher rather than raising their own young. CALL: a melodic "ah-ah klip ah-ah". RED-CRESTED SWIFT We know nothing about the red-crested swift. - BROWN-SHOULDERED HAWK A hawk with a black neck is the brown-shouldered hawk. Its' conspicuous striped crest generally lets you identify one. Brown-shouldered hawks often occupy eastern bushes or undergrowth where they typically subsist on rodents. A bird living in flocks, they are very shy birds, almost impossible to approach. CALL: a tuneful "AIkyik-coo AIkyik-cooRIK". WESTERN GUINEAFOWL The western guineafowl is remarkable for its violet neck and its white throat. Western guineafowls may often be seen in western bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a sort of "coo-ou-wee chi coo-ou-wee". COMMON SWIFT The common swift is somewhat smaller than the red-crested swift, and has a blue beak and brown head. Common swifts feed on seeds, worms, and berries in northern undergrowth. Most often, one can be distinguished by its tufted neck and its' conspicuous striped beak. They can always find their way home. CALL: a tweeting that starts low and ends low, which might be transcribed "klip-tee-chip". SCREECHING TINAMOU The screeching tinamou is slightly larger than the golden-necked tinamou, possessing a white breast and brown tail. Screeching tinamous never reside in western bushes or undergrowth where they most often subsist on seeds, worms, and berries. Their speckled wings are notable. These flocking birds often stand around groups of black-beaked swallows. CALL: a hoarse "ou-ah-pip kyik". WESTERN GUINEAFOWL We know nothing about the western guineafowl. - BLACK-BREASTED DUCK One kind of duck is the black-breasted duck, a bird remarkable for its crimson wing and black breast. Black-breasted ducks occasionally reside in southern shrubbery or lakes where they generally subsist on berries and aquatic insects. These flocking birds travel short distances to better nesting grounds further West in the winter, to find food. CALL: a chattering that starts high and ends tuneful, which sounds like "OOklip-chi-oo". RARE GULL The rare gull has a yellow tail and a black throat. Rare gulls feed on freshwater fish in eastern bushes. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a type of groaning - first low then high "OOklip-pip-rik rik". WHITE-TAILED WOODPECKER A woodpecker with a gray beak is the white-tailed woodpecker. One can be identified by its narrow beak and its' speckled crest. You are most likely to discover white-tailed woodpeckers in northern beaches. There, they can never be spotted eating seeds and driftwood-feeding insects. These birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the golden-beaked grebe rather than raising their own young, with many of their kind. CALL: a hoarse "OUkok-coo-er OUkok-coo-erCHI". YELLOW-TAILED GUINEAFOWL We know nothing about the yellow-tailed guineafowl. RARE TINAMOU With a yellow shoulder, the rare tinamou is somewhat smaller than the screeching tinamou. You are most likely to discover rare tinamous in southern treetops. There, they can occasionally be observed eating fruits and nuts. Alone, they thrive in suburbs. CALL: a sort of singing - first hoarse then hoarse "KArik-tee". SOUTHERN SWIFT The southern swift is slightly smaller than the common swift, and has a yellow neck and red tail. Both birds have a red tail. Southern swifts may often be observed in southern bushes or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and some grubs. These birds are found around the homes of the brown-tailed coot, with a few of their kind. CALL: a kind of "CHIPrik-chi rik". GOLDEN-HEADED GUINEAFOWL The golden-headed guineafowl resembles the western guineafowl but is much smaller than it, with a golden crest and golden wing. You are most likely to discover golden-headed guineafowls in eastern treetops. There, they can often be found consuming fruits and nuts. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a squawking that starts tuneful and ends tuneful, which might be transcribed "PERrik-klip PERrik-klipKYIK". RED-BREASTED HAWK The red-breasted hawk resembles the brown-shouldered hawk but is much larger than it, possessing a brown shoulder and yellow crest. Both birds have a red head and a yellow throat and a brown shoulder and a red breast and a yellow crest. Red-breasted hawks may often be seen in northern swamps or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of fresh-water fish. A bird living individually or in small groups, they seek rising currents of wind to fly low on. CALL: a "coo-kok-ai ou coo-kok-ai". - TROPICAL FALCON The tropical falcon has a black wing and a brown beak. Generally, one can be identified by its speckled neck and its' conspicuous speckled beak. Tropical falcons often live in eastern swamps or undergrowth where they generally subsist on rodents. A bird living with a few of their kind, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a low "er-pip PERkok-pip er-pip PERkok-pipCHIP". YELLOW-SHOULDERED GROUSE The yellow-shouldered grouse is a grouse with a yellow shoulder and a red wing. Its' conspicuous speckled throat most often lets you identify one. Yellow-shouldered grouses can often be observed around eastern branches or at times in eastern undergrowth. They collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a kind of "chip-kok kok-wee-kok tee chip-kok kok-wee-kok". TWEETING SWIFT A bird with a red throat and a brown neck is the tweeting swift. They can generally be told apart by their mottled throats and beaks. Tweeting swifts can often be found around western branches or at times in western undergrowth. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, with a few of their kind. CALL: a "kraa-kyik kyik-klip-chip". GOLDEN-BREASTED TINAMOU The golden-breasted tinamou is remarkable for its yellow shoulder and its golden breast. Their striped throats are remarkable. Golden-breasted tinamous can often be observed around western swamps or at times in western canopies. They are found around the homes of the common vulture. CALL: a hoarse tweeting which sounds like "klip-ka pip-pip-ka pip". CHATTERING SWALLOW A bird with a crimson wing and a yellow neck is the chattering swallow. They can generally be identified by their tufted breasts and necks. Chattering swallows may often be observed in eastern rivers searching for seeds, berries, and snails. These birds live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into ranches or roofs, in large congregations. CALL: a abrasive chattering which might be transcribed "ka-kyik ai-er-pip ka-kyik ai-er-pipAH". PRAIRIE HAWK The prairie hawk is sometimes confused with the red-breasted hawk and is much smaller than it. The prairie hawk has a golden tail and yellow breast. Their colors are completely different. Prairie hawks feed on squirrels, mice, and other birds in southern treetops. These solitary birds travel reasonable distances West in the spring, to mate. CALL: a "klip-ka ah-ai oo klip-ka ah-ai". EXTINCT GUINEAFOWL The extinct guineafowl is sometimes incorrectly identified as the golden-headed guineafowl and is much larger than it. The extinct guineafowl has a black throat and red tail. Extinct guineafowls may never be seen in northern mountain tops or in conifers. Their diet consists primarily of nuts, seeds, and beetles. A bird living with many of their kind, they travel reasonable distances North in the winter, to raise their young. CALL: a sort of whistling - first hoarse then tuneful "er-kyik chi-chi". WHITE-SHOULDERED SWIFT A relative of the southern swift, the white-shouldered swift is somewhat smaller than it, with a white breast and golden throat. Usually, one can be told apart by its tufted tail and its' remarkable tufted neck. White-shouldered swifts may sometimes be observed in northern undergrowth or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. These flocking birds travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the East in the winter, to raise their young. CALL: a kind of singing - first high then melodic "chip-ah kyik-ah tee". BROWN-HEADED TINAMOU A relative of the rare tinamou, the brown-headed tinamou is slightly smaller than it, and has a blue neck and black tail. Brown-headed tinamous may often be observed in southern conifers or in tundra. Their diet consists primarily of roots and seeds. They can most often be told apart by their narrow tails and shoulders. They seek rising currents of wind to fly rapidly on. CALL: a type of "ah-ai tee-kraa ah-ai tee-kraaKA". COASTAL GUINEAFOWL We know nothing about the coastal guineafowl. SINGING WOODPECKER The singing woodpecker resembles the white-tailed woodpecker but is slightly larger than it, with a crimson neck and golden beak. Singing woodpeckers often occupy eastern undergrowth or branches where they usually subsist on fruits and nuts. With many of their kind, they travel long distances annualy to the same sites in the East in the spring, to avoid predators. CALL: a high singing which resembles "PIPkyik-kok-wee". RIVER GULL The river gull is slightly larger than the rare gull and is notable for its red breast and red throat. Their colors are completely different. River gulls feed on trout and other freshwater fish in eastern rivers. These birds live alone. CALL: a "TEEkyik-kraa-ai pip". COMMON DUCK We know nothing about the common duck.