The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1751129334.6898284: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* WHITE-TAILED SWIFT A bird with a violet throat and a brown neck is the white-tailed swift. White-tailed swifts feed on seeds, berries, and snails in southern rivers. These birds often mingle with groups of brown-shouldered egrets, in large congregations. CALL: a melodic "oo-rik oo-rikKOK". - COMMON SWIFT With a black shoulder, the common swift is much smaller than the white-tailed swift. Both birds have a red wing. Common swifts may often be observed in southern bushes or in pine stands. Their diet consists primarily of pine cones and small insects. They can always find their way home. CALL: a high singing which sounds like "chip-ou chip-ouRIK". - BLACK-CRESTED GROUSE A grouse with a brown breast is the black-crested grouse. They can most often be told apart by their striped wings and crests. You are most likely to discover black-crested grouses in western bushes. There, they can often be observed consuming seeds, grubs, and berries. In flocks, they live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into backyards or golf courses. CALL: a melodic "rik-chip". BROWN-SHOULDERED SWIFT The brown-shouldered swift is slightly larger than the common swift and is notable for its crimson neck and brown beak. Brown-shouldered swifts feed on berries and aquatic insects in eastern lakes. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a "per-ah coo". - BLACK-CRESTED COOT One kind of coot is the black-crested coot, a bird conspicuous for its black crest and violet beak. Its' conspicuous speckled wing typically lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover black-crested coots in southern rivers. There, they can often be found eating trout and other freshwater fish. A bird living in large congregations, they live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into ranches or roofs. CALL: a abrasive "kyik-er-kok kyik-er-kokKYIK". WHISTLING SWIFT A relative of the brown-shouldered swift, the whistling swift is as large as it, with a white shoulder and brown wing. Whistling swifts can often be seen around eastern swamps or at times in eastern undergrowth. These birds can always find their way home, individually or in small groups. CALL: a "kyik-er ka kyik-er". COMMON GROUSE We know nothing about the common grouse. - EASTERN DUCK A duck with a yellow crest is the eastern duck. One can be identified by its tufted crest and its' narrow wing. Eastern ducks may often be found in eastern undergrowth or in beaches. Their diet consists primarily of crabs, mussels, and a variety of saltwater fish. These solitary birds thrive in cities. CALL: a kind of groaning - first melodic then hoarse "CHIoo-chi CHIoo-chiCHIP". SINGING HAWK The singing hawk has a violet wing and a brown crest. Singing hawks may never be seen in western branches or in treetops. Their diet consists primarily of squirrels, mice, and other birds. A bird living singley, they will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a kind of "kok-ka-pip coo kok-ka-pip". MOUNTAIN GROUSE With a white head, the mountain grouse is much larger than the common grouse. Generally, one can be told apart by its striped head and its' remarkable oversized shoulder. Mountain grouses may often be found in southern cliffsides or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. These semi-solitary birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the coastal coot rather than raising their own young. CALL: a low "oo-kraa-klip". VIOLET-TAILED SWIFT We know nothing about the violet-tailed swift. COMMON COOT We know nothing about the common coot. - COMMON GUINEAFOWL The common guineafowl has a brown wing and a yellow throat. Their oversized shoulders are remarkable. Common guineafowls can often be observed around western undergrowth or at times in western beaches. A bird living in pairs, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "AHpip-oo-kraa". TROPICAL DUCK A bird with a brown beak and a white shoulder is the tropical duck. Tropical ducks may often be found in southern canopies or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. They make their homes in natural cavities in trees filled out with dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a singing that starts tuneful and ends melodic, which resembles "TEEai-chi-pip coo". CHATTERING THRUSH The chattering thrush is a thrush with a yellow crest and a red wing. Most often, one can be told apart by its mottled throat and its' conspicuous oversized wing. Chattering thrushs may often be found in western bushes or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and some grubs. In pairs, they travel reasonable distances West in the winter, to find food. CALL: a high chattering which sounds like "RIKcoo-per-chi RIKcoo-per-chiCOO". MOUNTAIN COOT We know nothing about the mountain coot. WESTERN SWIFT We know nothing about the western swift. TROPICAL GROUSE The tropical grouse is much smaller than the mountain grouse, possessing a yellow tail and white throat. Their colors are completely different. Tropical grouses feed on insects and tubers in eastern swamps. These birds live individually or in small groups. CALL: a melodic "RIKrik-kok chip". BROWN-BREASTED HAWK The brown-breasted hawk is much smaller than the singing hawk, with a red beak and yellow shoulder. One can be distinguished by its oversized breast and its' narrow neck. Brown-breasted hawks may often be spotted in eastern lakes or in ponds. Their diet consists primarily of fish, frogs, rodents, and lizards. They make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a sort of "COOah-oo COOah-ooKYIK". WESTERN DUCK We know nothing about the western duck. - UNCOMMON COOT The uncommon coot has a red neck and a violet breast. Uncommon coots can sometimes be observed around northern cliffsides or at times in northern pine stands. These birds make their homes in flat platforms composed of branches, in solitude. CALL: a tuneful singing which sounds like "kyik-ai OUka-ou kyik-ai OUka-ouKRAA". SCREECHING SWALLOW The screeching swallow is a swallow with a brown neck and a brown head. Screeching swallows may sometimes be observed in western pine stands searching for pine cones and small insects. In flocks, they live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into farmland or lakesides. CALL: a high "chi-oo kraa-ah-kok kyik chi-oo kraa-ah-kok". BROWN-HEADED SWALLOW The brown-headed swallow has a red tail and a black neck. They can usually be told apart by their striped heads and tails. Brown-headed swallows can often be found eating seeds, grubs, and berries in western bushes, or now and then in treetops. These flocking birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the common oriole rather than raising their own young. CALL: a abrasive chattering which resembles "wee-kok ai-ka-oo". SCREECHING EGRET One kind of egret is the screeching egret, a bird conspicuous for its blue beak and black shoulder. You are most likely to discover screeching egrets in western tundra. There, they can occasionally be spotted eating salmon and mackerel. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a low screeching which might be transcribed "kyik-tee kraa-chip-ai ai". YELLOW-TAILED COOT The yellow-tailed coot has a yellow tail and a violet wing. Their mottled beaks are remarkable. Yellow-tailed coots can occasionally be seen eating carp, bream, trout, and perch in northern reeds, or now and then in ponds. These flocking birds travel without rest accross continents and over oceans South in the winter, to find food. CALL: a tuneful "ka-tee kraa-ah-chip ka-tee kraa-ah-chipCHIP". YELLOW-BREASTED DUCK We know nothing about the yellow-breasted duck. YELLOW-TAILED HAWK The yellow-tailed hawk is sometimes incorrectly identified as the brown-breasted hawk and is larger than it. The yellow-tailed hawk has a golden shoulder and golden crest. You are most likely to discover yellow-tailed hawks in southern mountain tops. There, they can often be found eating rabbits and small birds. Its' conspicuous oversized head generally lets you identify one. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a low whistling which might be transcribed "oo-kyik ah-oo". COMMON GROUSE The common grouse is as large as the tropical grouse and is notable for its red tail and black shoulder. They can usually be identified by their mottled beaks and tails. Common grouses can often be found around western canopies or at times in western swamps. These birds live alone. CALL: a "kok-rik pip-ka ai". WESTERN SWIFT The western swift is sometimes confused with the western swift and is much smaller than it. The western swift has a red crest and yellow tail. One can be told apart by its narrow head and its' narrow breast. Western swifts may often be found in western ponds or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, berries, and snails. These solitary birds often mingle with groups of golden-necked gulls. CALL: a hoarse "ou-pip per-kyik ou-pip per-kyikKRAA". GOLDEN-SHOULDERED COOT We know nothing about the golden-shouldered coot. RARE THRUSH The rare thrush resembles the chattering thrush but is as large as it, and has a golden crest and yellow tail. Its' conspicuous oversized throat most often lets you identify one. Rare thrushs may occasionally be seen in eastern conifers searching for nuts, seeds, and beetles. These solitary birds make their homes in depressions in the ground covered over by dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a whistling that starts hoarse and ends low, which sounds like "KYIKcoo-pip-ou". VIOLET-THROATED DUCK The violet-throated duck resembles the tropical duck but is somewhat smaller than it, possessing a golden neck and violet throat. Their speckled heads are conspicuous. Violet-throated ducks occasionally reside in eastern canopies or undergrowth where they generally subsist on freshwater fish. These birds seek cold currents of wind to fly slowly on, with many of their kind. CALL: a whistling that starts hoarse and ends low, which sounds like "PERtee-ka-klip rik". WHITE-TAILED GUINEAFOWL The white-tailed guineafowl is sometimes mistaken for the common guineafowl and is much smaller than it. The white-tailed guineafowl has a gray crest and yellow throat. Its' conspicuous narrow breast usually lets you identify one. White-tailed guineafowls can often be found eating fruits and nuts in eastern treetops, or now and then in undergrowth. These flocking birds only survive far from human populations. CALL: a melodic "PIPou-klip-tee PIPou-klip-teeER".