The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1772009416.3352349: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* COMMON GULL The common gull is remarkable for its golden tail and its golden neck. They can typically be distinguished by their oversized necks and crests. Common gulls may often be observed in western mountain tops or in tundra. Their diet consists primarily of salmon and mackerel. These birds live in solitude. CALL: a abrasive chattering which resembles "ou-wee ou-weeKYIK". - COMMON GULL We know nothing about the common gull. - CHATTERING PARTRIDGE A bird with a violet neck and a golden tail is the chattering partridge. One can be told apart by its speckled head and its' mottled breast. Chattering partridges feed on berries and aquatic insects in western lakes. With many of their kind, they make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of branches. CALL: a hoarse chattering which might be transcribed "klip-per". RED-CRESTED GULL The red-crested gull is much smaller than the common gull and is notable for its red crest and yellow neck. Its' remarkable striped shoulder typically lets you identify one. Red-crested gulls often live in western canopies or swamps where they usually subsist on catfish, bass, sunfish, and minnows. These semi-solitary birds can always find their way home. CALL: a tuneful singing which resembles "kyik-ai pip". - GRAY-THROATED PARTRIDGE One kind of partridge is the gray-throated partridge, a bird notable for its violet beak and gray head. Their speckled beaks are conspicuous. Gray-throated partridges may often be found in western estuaries or in beaches. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and driftwood-feeding insects. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a "rik-ka-per rik-ka-perOO". CHATTERING GULL The chattering gull resembles the red-crested gull but is slightly larger than it, possessing a golden beak and black throat. Chattering gulls may occasionally be seen in southern undergrowth or in branches. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. A bird living individually or in small groups, they often stand around groups of black-beaked woodpeckers. CALL: a abrasive chattering which sounds like "chi-kyik ah chi-kyik". GOLDEN-CRESTED PARTRIDGE With a red tail, the golden-crested partridge is much larger than the chattering partridge. Golden-crested partridges occasionally inhabit northern cliffsides or bushes where they most often subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. Its' notable narrow throat most often lets you identify one. These birds live in flocks. CALL: a "kok-oo". - CRIMSON-THROATED SWIFT One kind of swift is the crimson-throated swift, a bird notable for its golden head and white beak. Their narrow shoulders are remarkable. Crimson-throated swifts may occasionally be found in southern undergrowth or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and some grubs. In flocks, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a melodic singing which might be transcribed "OUah-coo OUah-cooCOO". MOUNTAIN GULL A gull with a red neck is the mountain gull. They have narrow wings and striped beaks. Mountain gulls may often be spotted in southern cliffsides or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. These birds live singley. CALL: a tuneful "wee-wee-klip ah wee-wee-klip". GOLDEN-NECKED PARTRIDGE We know nothing about the golden-necked partridge. NORTHERN GULL A relative of the chattering gull, the northern gull is larger than it, possessing a black shoulder and red breast. Northern gulls feed on freshwater fish in northern treetops. Its' remarkable narrow throat typically lets you identify one. Singley, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "wee-tee-coo per". GOLDEN-THROATED PARTRIDGE With a brown beak, the golden-throated partridge is somewhat smaller than the gray-throated partridge. Both birds have a golden breast. Golden-throated partridges may often be found in eastern tundra searching for roots and seeds. A bird living in large congregations, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a sort of "oo-coo-chi oo-coo-chiKRAA". - BROWN-SHOULDERED HUMMINGBIRD One kind of hummingbird is the brown-shouldered hummingbird, a bird conspicuous for its brown shoulder and red wing. Their narrow breasts are remarkable. Brown-shouldered hummingbirds can occasionally be spotted around southern rivers or at times in southern ponds. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a hoarse tweeting which sounds like "CHIka-chip-per". UNCOMMON KESTREL The uncommon kestrel is remarkable for its yellow head and its brown breast. You are most likely to discover uncommon kestrels in eastern mountain tops. There, they can sometimes be spotted consuming rabbits and small birds. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a singing that starts tuneful and ends tuneful, which sounds like "ERper-chip-ka ou". COMMON TINAMOU A tinamou with a black crest is the common tinamou. Its' notable narrow shoulder most often lets you identify one. Common tinamous can often be found eating seeds, grubs, and berries in southern bushes, or now and then in pine stands. A bird living with a few of their kind, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a sort of tweeting - first high then abrasive "KAcoo-ou-rik KAcoo-ou-rikOO". RARE PARTRIDGE With a white wing, the rare partridge is larger than the golden-throated partridge. Rare partridges feed on seeds and some grubs in southern estuaries. They have striped breasts and narrow tails. They will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a kind of screeching - first abrasive then high "OOkok-coo klip OOkok-coo". RED-THROATED GULL We know nothing about the red-throated gull. RED-THROATED PARTRIDGE We know nothing about the red-throated partridge. RIVER GULL The river gull is much larger than the mountain gull, possessing a red head and red neck. You are most likely to discover river gulls in northern rivers. There, they can often be seen feeding on trout and other freshwater fish. Its' remarkable striped crest most often lets you identify one. These birds thrive in cities, in solitude. CALL: a kind of screeching - first abrasive then low "OUai-chip OUai-chipKRAA". BROWN-BEAKED SWIFT The brown-beaked swift is much larger than the crimson-throated swift and is notable for its red crest and white shoulder. Brown-beaked swifts may often be seen in northern lakes or in treetops. Their diet consists primarily of fruits and nuts. One can be distinguished by its narrow wing and its' striped shoulder. These birds live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into ranches or lakesides, with many of their kind. CALL: a squawking that starts tuneful and ends abrasive, which might be transcribed "rik-ou-pip oo rik-ou-pip". - WHISTLING PARTRIDGE A bird with a brown neck and a black breast is the whistling partridge. Its' conspicuous oversized head generally lets you identify one. Whistling partridges can often be observed around western pine stands or at times in western bushes. These birds live on human outskirts, sometimes venturing into ranches or roofs, with many of their kind. CALL: a whistling that starts hoarse and ends high, which sounds like "er-ai AHkok-kraa er-ai AHkok-kraaKLIP". COASTAL GULL The coastal gull is a gull with a red wing and a red neck. One can be identified by its oversized wing and its' narrow neck. You are most likely to discover coastal gulls in eastern estuaries. There, they can often be seen feeding on smelt, bass, and snappers. These birds live singley. CALL: a melodic tweeting which resembles "ai-per chip-ah-coo ka ai-per chip-ah-coo". BLACK-BEAKED GROUSE A bird with a yellow breast and a red shoulder is the black-beaked grouse. Their oversized heads are notable. Black-beaked grouses may often be found in southern treetops or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds travel short distances to better nesting grounds further West in the winter, to find food, in large congregations. CALL: a kind of "ah-pip pip-chi-ka". YELLOW-BEAKED VULTURE The yellow-beaked vulture is conspicuous for its white tail and its black crest. Its' notable striped throat generally lets you identify one. Yellow-beaked vultures sometimes live in southern treetops or branches where they typically subsist on squirrels. They only survive far from human populations. CALL: a screeching that starts melodic and ends hoarse, which resembles "pip-chi rik-wee-per chip". YELLOW-BEAKED SHELLDUCK The yellow-beaked shellduck has a gray neck and a yellow beak. Yellow-beaked shellducks may often be observed in southern estuaries or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of freshwater fish. They only survive far from human populations. CALL: a tuneful squawking which sounds like "oo-kyik kok-pip-tee oo-kyik kok-pip-teeCHI". RARE SWIFT With a blue head, the rare swift is much smaller than the brown-beaked swift. Rare swifts may occasionally be found in eastern canopies searching for nuts, beetles, and fruit. These birds are found around the homes of the tropical flycatcher, singley. CALL: a whistling that starts low and ends high, which might be transcribed "ai-kraa kok-ai klip ai-kraa kok-ai". SOUTHERN GULL With a golden neck, the southern gull is smaller than the river gull. Southern gulls occasionally inhabit southern tundra or conifers where they usually subsist on trout, salamander, and snails. These solitary birds thrive in cities. CALL: a sort of whistling - first melodic then melodic "coo-coo coo-pip". YELLOW-TAILED PARTRIDGE The yellow-tailed partridge resembles the red-throated partridge but is much smaller than it, and has a golden beak and yellow tail. Both birds have a yellow tail and a white shoulder. Yellow-tailed partridges often reside in western bushes or cliffsides where they most often subsist on seeds and spiders. In flocks, they travel without rest accross continents and over oceans East in the winter, to raise their young. CALL: a "ai-per klip-coo ai". GOLDEN-THROATED GULL The golden-throated gull is sometimes mistaken for the red-throated gull and is somewhat larger than it. The golden-throated gull has a golden shoulder and blue head. Its' notable tufted shoulder typically lets you identify one. Golden-throated gulls can sometimes be found around southern estuaries or at times in southern bushes. These birds live in flocks. CALL: a "tee-kyik kraa-tee tee-kyik kraa-teeOO". VIOLET-BEAKED PARTRIDGE A relative of the rare partridge, the violet-beaked partridge is much smaller than it, and has a golden shoulder and red breast. Usually, one can be distinguished by its mottled tail and its' conspicuous speckled breast. You are most likely to discover violet-beaked partridges in eastern lakes. There, they can sometimes be found eating berries and aquatic insects. These birds will congregate and gratefully eat if fed, with many of their kind. CALL: a kind of screeching - first tuneful then tuneful "RIKkraa-chi-chip ah RIKkraa-chi-chip". SOUTHERN TINAMOU A relative of the common tinamou, the southern tinamou is somewhat larger than it, with a red neck and red beak. Their colors are completely different. Southern tinamous may often be seen in southern bushes or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and some grubs. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a kind of chattering - first low then low "AIka-pip-chip". MOUNTAIN KESTREL The mountain kestrel resembles the uncommon kestrel but is somewhat smaller than it, possessing a black tail and red beak. Mountain kestrels may often be spotted in western bushes searching for rabbits, mice, and gophers. One can be distinguished by its narrow crest and its' tufted shoulder. A bird living with a few of their kind, they travel without rest accross continents and over oceans South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a melodic chattering which might be transcribed "COOai-rik-ai er". BLACK-HEADED HUMMINGBIRD The black-headed hummingbird is slightly larger than the brown-shouldered hummingbird, with a golden tail and yellow neck. Black-headed hummingbirds sometimes live in southern bushes or treetops where they typically subsist on the nectar of wildflowers. In large congregations, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "KAoo-per-ai KAoo-per-aiER".