The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic SECTION 1751973496.7532232: * * ** *** ***** ******** ************* SCREECHING THRUSH A bird with a golden wing and a red crest is the screeching thrush. They have striped breasts and narrow beaks. Screeching thrushs may often be found in southern canopies or in swamps. Their diet consists primarily of insects and tubers. A bird living in pairs, they travel long distances annualy to the same sites in the South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a high screeching which resembles "chip-kyik chip-kyikWEE". - COASTAL THRUSH The coastal thrush is much larger than the screeching thrush, and has a red head and golden neck. Their colors are completely different. Coastal thrushs may often be found in western bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a "kraa-per kraa-perTEE". - COASTAL GREBE A bird with a yellow shoulder and a brown head is the coastal grebe. They can typically be told apart by their oversized shoulders and beaks. Coastal grebes can often be found eating crabs, mussels, and a variety of saltwater fish in western beaches, or now and then in undergrowth. Alone, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a groaning that starts melodic and ends melodic, which resembles "kraa-pip". RED-SHOULDERED THRUSH We know nothing about the red-shouldered thrush. - GOLDEN-BEAKED PARTRIDGE A partridge with a yellow throat is the golden-beaked partridge. Golden-beaked partridges can often be found around southern undergrowth or at times in southern estuaries. These flocking birds make their homes in suspended structures woven from moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a kind of singing - first tuneful then hoarse "rik-ai-tee rik-ai-teeKA". BLUE-BEAKED THRUSH The blue-beaked thrush is larger than the red-shouldered thrush, possessing a black shoulder and brown crest. Blue-beaked thrushs can often be observed eating seeds, worms, and berries in southern undergrowth, or now and then in canopies. Their speckled crests are remarkable. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, with many of their kind. CALL: a hoarse singing which sounds like "ou-pip ai ou-pip". WHISTLING GREBE The whistling grebe is much smaller than the coastal grebe and is notable for its crimson head and brown wing. Whistling grebes may often be found in western undergrowth searching for freshwater fish. These birds make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of branches, with a few of their kind. CALL: a sort of whistling - first low then high "klip-pip". - YELLOW-SHOULDERED DUCK The yellow-shouldered duck is remarkable for its yellow head and its violet beak. Their speckled beaks are conspicuous. Yellow-shouldered ducks often live in eastern rivers or undergrowth where they usually subsist on freshwater fish. These birds will steal sandwiches, in large congregations. CALL: a type of "OUkyik-tee OUkyik-teeRIK". WESTERN SWIFT The western swift has a gray tail and a yellow breast. They have striped throats and narrow necks. Western swifts may often be found in western cliffsides or in pine stands. Their diet consists primarily of pine cones and small insects. They often walk among groups of coastal coots. CALL: a low "ka-wee-klip ka ka-wee-klip". SOUTHERN GREBE With a gray head, the southern grebe is slightly larger than the whistling grebe. Southern grebes can sometimes be found around southern mountain tops or at times in southern conifers. Its' notable oversized tail typically lets you identify one. A bird living in pairs, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a kind of tweeting - first hoarse then low "ou-ai-kraa". EASTERN THRUSH The eastern thrush resembles the blue-beaked thrush but is smaller than it, possessing a white tail and white neck. You are most likely to discover eastern thrushs in eastern tundra. There, they can often be found eating roots and seeds. A bird living in pairs, they are found around the homes of the golden-crested coot. CALL: a type of tweeting - first low then tuneful "per-ka-coo chi". EASTERN PARTRIDGE A relative of the golden-beaked partridge, the eastern partridge is slightly smaller than it, and has a red neck and golden shoulder. Eastern partridges can often be found around eastern estuaries or at times in eastern bushes. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a "PIPklip-ah chi". - WESTERN PARTRIDGE A bird with a white crest and a red throat is the western partridge. One can be told apart by its striped wing and its' striped neck. You are most likely to discover western partridges in western beaches. There, they can occasionally be seen eating seeds and driftwood-feeding insects. These birds live individually or in small groups. CALL: a abrasive "WEEah-kraa-er". TROPICAL THRUSH A thrush with a golden tail is the tropical thrush. Usually, one can be identified by its narrow shoulder and its' conspicuous oversized crest. Tropical thrushs may often be found in eastern canopies or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, worms, and berries. These birds travel without rest accross continents and over oceans North in the spring, to avoid predators, with a few of their kind. CALL: a tuneful "TEEcoo-oo-chi chi". SOUTHERN EAGLE A eagle with a golden neck is the southern eagle. Its' remarkable striped crest usually lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover southern eagles in southern canopies. There, they can often be found eating small birds. A bird living with a few of their kind, they seek cold currents of wind to fly high on. CALL: a type of "KRAAou-kraa-ou KRAAou-kraa-ouKLIP". GRAY-THROATED PARTRIDGE We know nothing about the gray-throated partridge. NORTHERN THRUSH The northern thrush is much larger than the eastern thrush, and has a red breast and brown wing. Northern thrushs feed on fruits and nuts in northern treetops. A bird living individually or in small groups, they are found around the homes of the common eagle. CALL: a tuneful singing which resembles "RIKka-ou". COASTAL GREBE The coastal grebe is sometimes confused with the southern grebe and is somewhat larger than it. The coastal grebe has a golden breast and brown shoulder. Coastal grebes often inhabit northern undergrowth or estuaries where they most often subsist on smelt, bass, and snappers. One can be identified by its narrow throat and its' narrow head. These solitary birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a "AIer-per kraa". NORTHERN SWIFT The northern swift is sometimes mistaken for the western swift and is somewhat larger than it. The northern swift has a yellow head and yellow breast. Both birds have a yellow breast. Northern swifts may often be observed in northern bushes or in ponds. Their diet consists primarily of insects. A bird living individually or in small groups, they collect bright trinkets found in the dirt. CALL: a low "COOchip-per COOchip-perAI". NORTHERN DUCK The northern duck is sometimes mistaken for the yellow-shouldered duck and is much smaller than it. The northern duck has a white crest and yellow head. Northern ducks may often be observed in northern beaches or in estuaries. Their diet consists primarily of smelt, bass, and snappers. A bird living in solitude, they thrive in cities. CALL: a type of singing - first low then abrasive "klip-er-ka coo klip-er-ka". - YELLOW-NECKED FLYCATCHER The yellow-necked flycatcher is remarkable for its red throat and its golden beak. Typically, one can be distinguished by its narrow beak and its' remarkable speckled head. Yellow-necked flycatchers may often be found in northern bushes searching for seeds, grubs, and berries. A bird living in flocks, they have lost the capacity for flight. CALL: a sort of "coo-pip WEEpip-rik coo-pip WEEpip-rikOO". BLACK-NECKED SWIFT The black-necked swift has a yellow wing and a brown breast. One can be distinguished by its oversized neck and its' speckled beak. Black-necked swifts often reside in northern pine stands or bushes where they most often subsist on seeds, grubs, and berries. In large congregations, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a abrasive "pip-chi er-klip-kok ah pip-chi er-klip-kok". COMMON TINAMOU A tinamou with a red tail is the common tinamou. Its' conspicuous speckled beak usually lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover common tinamous in northern branches. There, they can often be seen feeding on fruits and nuts. These birds mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal, individually or in small groups. CALL: a kind of tweeting - first hoarse then hoarse "per-coo ka-chip-oo". GRAY-SHOULDERED SWIFT A swift with a crimson head is the gray-shouldered swift. Generally, one can be told apart by its striped crest and its' notable narrow wing. Gray-shouldered swifts often live in western bushes or undergrowth where they usually subsist on seeds, worms, and berries. These birds only survive far from human populations, in large congregations. CALL: a melodic "ou-ah ou-tee-chip ou". WHITE-TAILED SWALLOW The white-tailed swallow is remarkable for its crimson wing and its white tail. White-tailed swallows may often be found in eastern treetops or in branches. Their diet consists primarily of fruits and nuts. A bird living in large congregations, they travel short distances to better nesting grounds further East in the spring, to avoid predators. CALL: a sort of whistling - first high then high "chi-oo ka-ka-chi chi-oo ka-ka-chiAI". RIVER DUCK The river duck is as large as the northern duck, with a red throat and black head. River ducks may often be seen in southern reeds or in rivers. Their diet consists primarily of trout and other freshwater fish. These birds collect bright trinkets found in the dirt, singley. CALL: a high "tee-klip klip-kyik pip tee-klip klip-kyik". ARCTIC SWIFT We know nothing about the arctic swift. WHISTLING GREBE The whistling grebe is much smaller than the coastal grebe and is notable for its gray shoulder and golden breast. Whistling grebes occasionally inhabit southern undergrowth or swamps where they usually subsist on catfish, bass, sunfish, and minnows. One can be told apart by its narrow tail and its' oversized shoulder. These semi-solitary birds make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of branches. CALL: a sort of whistling - first melodic then low "tee-ah oo-tee kyik". RED-THROATED THRUSH The red-throated thrush is sometimes mistaken for the northern thrush and is slightly smaller than it. The red-throated thrush has a black tail and gray crest. Its' notable mottled tail generally lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover red-throated thrushs in southern tundra. There, they can often be observed consuming roots and seeds. A bird living in flocks, they travel short distances to better nesting grounds further South in the spring, to mate. CALL: a screeching that starts tuneful and ends tuneful, which resembles "klip-oo pip-ai klip-oo pip-aiKA". MOUNTAIN PARTRIDGE The mountain partridge resembles the gray-throated partridge but is slightly larger than it, possessing a white beak and crimson wing. They can generally be identified by their mottled shoulders and tails. Mountain partridges may sometimes be spotted in southern pine stands or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. In large congregations, they often stand around groups of western coots. CALL: a "PIPper-klip-chip coo PIPper-klip-chip". RED-TAILED EAGLE The red-tailed eagle is much smaller than the southern eagle and is notable for its brown head and white breast. Usually, one can be identified by its striped neck and its' remarkable tufted breast. Red-tailed eagles can often be spotted around southern bushes or at times in southern pine stands. They travel without rest accross continents and over oceans South in the fall, to perish. CALL: a singing that starts hoarse and ends high, which resembles "TEEpip-ou-tee". WHITE-BEAKED THRUSH With a red tail, the white-beaked thrush is slightly larger than the tropical thrush. Both birds have a white beak. White-beaked thrushs may often be observed in southern pine stands or in bushes. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, grubs, and berries. These flocking birds seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a sort of "KYIKer-kok-oo tee". WESTERN PARTRIDGE The western partridge resembles the western partridge but is much smaller than it, and has a white shoulder and yellow wing. They have oversized beaks and tufted tails. Western partridges often inhabit western tundra or conifers where they generally subsist on nuts, seeds, and beetles. These birds live in pairs. CALL: a hoarse squawking which might be transcribed "KLIPchip-pip-wee KLIPchip-pip-weeCHIP".