The Guide to Nonexistent Birds: an Ornithological Logic

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WHITE-BREASTED THRUSH
The white-breasted thrush has a brown throat and a black beak. White-breasted thrushs feed on seeds, berries, and snails in western rivers. A bird living in large congregations, they will congregate and gratefully eat if fed. CALL: a tweeting that starts tuneful and ends hoarse, which might be transcribed "ah-ai ah-aiKLIP". 
 
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BROWN-TAILED THRUSH
The brown-tailed thrush resembles the white-breasted thrush but is much smaller than it, and has a golden crest and yellow beak. Their colors are completely different. Brown-tailed thrushs feed on seeds and nuts in southern mountain tops. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a sort of chattering - first low then melodic "chi-ka chi-kaPIP". 
 
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YELLOW-THROATED EAGLE
The yellow-throated eagle is a eagle with a violet tail and a golden neck. Yellow-throated eagles may often be found in eastern estuaries searching for frogs and fish. These birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the chattering coot rather than raising their own young, in flocks. CALL: a screeching that starts abrasive and ends high, which might be transcribed "oo-tee". 
 
VIOLET-WINGED THRUSH
The violet-winged thrush is much larger than the brown-tailed thrush, possessing a violet wing and white tail. Both birds have  a yellow beak and a red shoulder. Violet-winged thrushs often occupy northern swamps or canopies where they usually subsist on nuts, beetles, and fruit. These flocking birds are found around the homes of the tropical swift. CALL: a singing that starts high and ends abrasive, which resembles "kyik-tee per". 
 
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CRIMSON-TAILED THRUSH
A bird with a crimson tail and a brown wing is the crimson-tailed thrush. Its' conspicuous oversized neck most often lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover crimson-tailed thrushs in northern branches. There, they can sometimes be spotted feeding on fruits and nuts. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a kind of "coo-ou-er coo-ou-erKLIP". 
 
PRAIRIE THRUSH
A relative of the violet-winged thrush, the prairie thrush is smaller than it, with a gray throat and brown neck. You are most likely to discover prairie thrushs in western shrubbery. There, they can often be observed feeding on seeds and grubs. Its' remarkable narrow throat usually lets you identify one. They make their homes in flat platforms composed of branches. CALL: a type of singing - first high then abrasive "chi-ah chi chi-ah". 
 
WHITE-BEAKED EAGLE
A relative of the yellow-throated eagle, the white-beaked eagle is as large as it, and has a crimson head and white beak. White-beaked eagles can often be seen eating frogs and fish in southern estuaries, or now and then in beaches. Their striped tails are conspicuous. With many of their kind, they are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the golden-breasted hawk rather than raising their own young. CALL: a hoarse "chip-coo". 
 
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NORTHERN THRUSH
A thrush with a red crest is the northern thrush. Northern thrushs can often be spotted eating seeds, grubs, and berries in northern bushes, or now and then in pine stands. These birds live with a few of their kind. CALL: a squawking that starts abrasive and ends hoarse, which might be transcribed "AIklip-er AIklip-erKOK". 
 
WHITE-CRESTED EGRET
The white-crested egret has a yellow tail and a red beak. They can generally be identified by their tufted shoulders and breasts. White-crested egrets may often be spotted in eastern beaches searching for crabs, mussels, and a variety of saltwater fish. They will steal sandwiches. CALL: a "kok-chi-chip per kok-chi-chip". 
 
RED-SHOULDERED EAGLE
The red-shouldered eagle is sometimes mistaken for the white-beaked eagle and is slightly larger than it. The  red-shouldered eagle has a red shoulder and crimson breast. Red-shouldered eagles may often be found in northern lakes or in treetops. Their diet consists primarily of squirrels, mice, and other birds. They have oversized beaks and narrow throats. These birds collect bright trinkets found in the dirt, in flocks. CALL: a low "er-tee-ka". 
 
COMMON THRUSH
The common thrush is as large as the prairie thrush and is notable for its red tail and red neck. Common thrushs can often be found eating fruits and nuts in northern treetops, or now and then in bushes. These birds live singley. CALL: a hoarse "chip-kok-tee kyik". 
 
COMMON THRUSH
The common thrush is sometimes confused with the crimson-tailed thrush and is slightly larger than it. The  common thrush has a white neck and white crest. They have speckled wings and tufted crests. Common thrushs may often be observed in western treetops or in shrubbery. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and grubs. These solitary birds are found around the homes of the western partridge. CALL: a hoarse groaning which resembles "wee-tee-tee wee-tee-teeCHI". 
 
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RED-SHOULDERED EAGLE
One kind of eagle is the red-shouldered eagle, a bird conspicuous for its white tail and golden head. They can usually be told apart by their oversized beaks and wings. Red-shouldered eagles feed on other birds in eastern cliffsides. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a "KYIKkraa-wee-coo". 
 
YELLOW-BEAKED EGRET
A egret with a black head is the yellow-beaked egret. Typically, one can be told apart by its striped breast and its' conspicuous striped wing. Yellow-beaked egrets may sometimes be found in western lakes searching for berries and aquatic insects. With many of their kind, they make their homes in tall and loosely built nests of dead twigs and leaves. CALL: a singing that starts tuneful and ends tuneful, which might be transcribed "OUai-coo-kyik tee". 
 
GOLDEN-NECKED SWALLOW
A bird with a gray tail and a blue shoulder is the golden-necked swallow. They have narrow throats and striped beaks. Golden-necked swallows often reside in southern pine stands or cliffsides where they most often subsist on seeds and spiders. These flocking birds only survive far from human populations. CALL: a type of "KRAAou-ou-ou KRAAou-ou-ouKLIP". 
 
COMMON THRUSH
The common thrush is smaller than the common thrush, possessing a brown neck and brown tail. Common thrushs may often be found in southern treetops or in undergrowth. Their diet consists primarily of seeds, worms, and berries. One can be distinguished by its oversized neck and its' narrow shoulder. In solitude, they are found around the homes of the mountain vulture. CALL: a type of singing - first high then high "RIKchip-kraa wee RIKchip-kraa". 
 
COASTAL THRUSH
The coastal thrush is much smaller than the common thrush and is notable for its red crest and red shoulder. You are most likely to discover coastal thrushs in eastern bushes. There, they can sometimes be found eating seeds, grubs, and berries. These semi-solitary birds travel around a pond, across a field, or to the other side of a mountain to the South in the fall, to perish. CALL: a hoarse squawking which sounds like "CHIPpip-ka". 
 
COASTAL EAGLE
With a blue head, the coastal eagle is somewhat larger than the red-shouldered eagle. Coastal eagles can often be found around northern bushes or at times in northern estuaries. Generally, one can be distinguished by its striped breast and its' remarkable tufted head. A bird living alone, they mate at the correct times with great theatrics and zeal. CALL: a high groaning which resembles "RIKou-wee pip". 
 
MOUNTAIN EGRET
We know nothing about the mountain egret.
 
CRIMSON-BEAKED THRUSH
A relative of the northern thrush, the crimson-beaked thrush is slightly smaller than it, and has a black neck and red wing. Both birds have  a red wing and a yellow head. Crimson-beaked thrushs often reside in northern ponds or lakes where they usually subsist on berries and aquatic insects. These birds are a brood parasite, leaving their eggs in nests of the red-throated hummingbird rather than raising their own young, in large congregations. CALL: a chattering that starts hoarse and ends abrasive, which sounds like "tee-wee-chip per tee-wee-chip". 
 
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WHITE-TAILED GUINEAFOWL
One kind of guineafowl is the white-tailed guineafowl, a bird conspicuous for its white tail and white beak. They have narrow crests and narrow beaks. White-tailed guineafowls may sometimes be spotted in eastern shrubbery searching for seeds and grubs. These birds live with many of their kind. CALL: a hoarse tweeting which resembles "er-ah OOer-per er-ah OOer-perER". 
 
SCREECHING SWIFT
A swift with a brown wing is the screeching swift. They can usually be distinguished by their narrow breasts and beaks. Screeching swifts feed on seeds, grubs, and berries in eastern bushes. These semi-solitary birds seek hot currents of wind to fly high on. CALL: a sort of "rik-coo coo-klip-wee rik rik-coo coo-klip-wee". 
 
GOLDEN-CRESTED GULL
The golden-crested gull is conspicuous for its yellow neck and its yellow shoulder. Its' conspicuous narrow neck usually lets you identify one. Golden-crested gulls may sometimes be observed in northern bushes searching for freshwater fish. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a "ka-oo pip-ai-tee". 
 
BLACK-BREASTED KESTREL
The black-breasted kestrel is a kestrel with a yellow throat and a golden wing. They have oversized tails and striped heads. Black-breasted kestrels may often be found in southern lakes searching for fish and frugs. A bird living in flocks, they seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a hoarse "tee-ah rik-tee-coo coo". 
 
NORTHERN COOT
The northern coot is conspicuous for its brown head and its white neck. Northern coots often live in northern bushes or pine stands where they typically subsist on freshwater fish. These solitary birds thrive in suburbs. CALL: a type of singing - first high then melodic "ou-ah oo-ka-kok ou-ah oo-ka-kokAH". 
 
YELLOW-SHOULDERED THRUSH
A relative of the crimson-beaked thrush, the yellow-shouldered thrush is slightly larger than it, and has a red neck and golden breast. Yellow-shouldered thrushs may often be found in western bushes or in cliffsides. Their diet consists primarily of seeds and spiders. These flocking birds make their homes in suspended structures woven from moss, wool, fabric, plant fluff, or string. CALL: a melodic "ah-chip ou-chip pip ah-chip ou-chip". 
 
SOUTHERN EGRET
A relative of the mountain egret, the southern egret is somewhat smaller than it, possessing a brown tail and yellow breast. Both birds have  a brown tail. Southern egrets can often be seen eating freshwater fish in southern bushes, or now and then in beaches. These semi-solitary birds are very shy birds, almost impossible to approach. CALL: a hoarse "chi-klip kraa-chi". 
 
BROWN-NECKED EAGLE
The brown-necked eagle is slightly smaller than the coastal eagle and is notable for its red crest and red throat. Its' conspicuous oversized breast most often lets you identify one. You are most likely to discover brown-necked eagles in southern beaches. There, they can occasionally be found feeding on shorebirds. These birds live in large congregations. CALL: a low whistling which sounds like "kok-rik er-kraa rik". 
 
RED-THROATED THRUSH
The red-throated thrush is much larger than the coastal thrush, possessing a white breast and golden tail. Red-throated thrushs often inhabit southern conifers or tundra where they generally subsist on roots and seeds. These birds travel short distances to better nesting grounds further South in the spring, to mate, in large congregations. CALL: a melodic tweeting which resembles "oo-kyik rik-er oo-kyik rik-erAH". 
 
GOLDEN-BEAKED THRUSH
The golden-beaked thrush resembles the common thrush but is slightly larger than it, with a red head and brown wing. Both birds have  a blue breast. Golden-beaked thrushs may occasionally be spotted in western tundra searching for roots and seeds. These flocking birds travel without rest accross continents and over oceans North in the spring, to avoid predators. CALL: a abrasive tweeting which might be transcribed "PERkok-per-klip chi PERkok-per-klip". 
 
SINGING SWALLOW
The singing swallow is somewhat smaller than the golden-necked swallow, possessing a red shoulder and blue crest. Their colors are completely different. Singing swallows can sometimes be observed eating seeds, grubs, and berries in western bushes, or now and then in estuaries. A bird living in pairs, they seem to to do nothing at all. CALL: a tuneful "RIKklip-rik-ou". 
 
TROPICAL EGRET
We know nothing about the tropical egret.
 
BROWN-TAILED EAGLE
The brown-tailed eagle is sometimes incorrectly identified as the red-shouldered eagle and is much larger than it. The  brown-tailed eagle has a brown tail and violet head. Brown-tailed eagles may occasionally be spotted in southern bushes searching for rabbits, mice, and gophers. Its' conspicuous speckled throat generally lets you identify one. A bird living in flocks, they seek cold currents of wind to fly low on. CALL: a tuneful tweeting which resembles "AHkok-ou-ou AHkok-ou-ouKLIP".